Twenty-One: you and me both then...

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Lukas's POV

I was sitting on the couch, my hands covering my face, when I heard the bathroom door slam shut. She didn't want to be with me... Hell, even I don't know if I want to be with me.It's true what I said to her, I'm nobody's boyfriend. I never had a serious girlfriend, only a shitload of hookups that didn't mean anything. That's why whatever it was I was feeling scared the crap out of me because the part about never settling down with the girl next door was a complete lie. I actually, maybe, might want too. It's all so confusing but one thing is sure, it's impossible to stay away from her.

My mind was with Drew sprawled over her and the thought of me thinking she wanted it until I saw her anxious face, haunted me. According to Drew she had kissed him probably earlier on the evening before things escalated, and I felt betrayed in some messed up kind of way. I'm messed up, I'm hurt too.

My stream of thoughts was interrupted by a noise in the bathroom and I instantly felt worried. Why did I react the way I did?I was hurt and angry, but I basically told her myself that it was her fault and I regretted every word of it. The closer I walked towards the bedroom door, the louder the sound of Isabella's sobs echoed through the door.   

"Bella, are you okay?" I said after a swift knock on the door. I felt glued to the floor, my head throbbing with concern. 

"I'm fine." She yelled, but her lips where lying and I knew. She was trying her best to dodge every sign of emotion, but as much as she tried, she failed. I put my hand through my hair, tugging at the roots with frustration laced through my fingers.

"Open the door Bella." I hid behind the softness of my voice while my thoughts were going crazy inside my head. I wanted to fucking beat Drew all over again.

"I'm not dressed." She shrieked and I imagined her lip trembling with emotion as she tried to cover up the sound of her sobs. Without saying another word, I gave her the space she obviously wanted. I sat back on the couch, my eyes watching the door, waiting for her to come out. This girl was changing me. When I saw her walking around campus with a smile on her face, I instantly felt a rush of happiness wash over me. I felt like I was having an heart attack when I saw her at the coffeeshop on her chair with her head in the clouds, daydreaming. And all I hoped was that she was dreaming about me.

The way she smiles so carefully like she's almost not allowed to, how she rolls her ridiculously green eyes at me, how she blushes when she's angry and how she stutters when she lies. It's all these small things I noticed about her that drive me insane. I never noticed these things with other girls, well I never wanted to, but when it comes to her, I wanted to know it all. I didn't even know half of it and I couldn't wait to find out. I was addicted to her taste and moreover her presence around me, but I was about to go cold turkey because she was pushing me away. Her words about being her friend lingered around somewhere in my stupid brain. If being her friend meant still having her close, then friends it was. It wasn't what I wanted deep down and I knew it, but it was better than nothing. It's her turn to come to me, and I'll wait. Even though it's going to kill me.

My hand started to throb, and I knew that wasn't a good sigh. I shouldn't have hit my dresser, but it was the frustration of tonight and the hurt by her words finding an outlet, much to my regret because I'm pretty sure both my dresser and my hand were broken. When I looked at my hand, busted knuckles and all, the bathroom door swung open. Isabella standing in the living room with a big towel wrapped around her body, her skin bright pink like she had been boiling like an egg. She carefully took small steps towards me, her eyes trying to avoid eye contact.

"Do you have any clothes for me to wear? I don't want to put mine back on." She whined, carefully shifting her eyes towards me. Her blonde hair looked darker when it was wet and the water had stripped her of all her makeup. She looked even more innocent, and young, her face bare like and angel which mad her green eyes pop even more than they already did.

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