Ninety-Two: I won't ever be the same

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Isabella's POV

I woke up to a ceiling, lucky for me one that wasn't spinning like a carousel. As I slowly tried to open my eyes, I found myself wondering who's ceiling it was because mine had a few more crack's than this one. I felt a hand softly going through my hair and some long black locks dangling down from this person's head now. Mia? I must be dreaming...

Trying to get up I was softly held down by the person whose lap was supporting my head and who's hand was comforting my face. "Hey it's okay, you're safe." I heard Mia's voice gently seep into my consciousness. I'm not dreaming, this is real. Am I, am I safe though?

"Mia, what? What's going on?" I tried to say but my throat was dry and tight. I was still exhausted even though I had no idea what time it was or how long I had slept for that matter. "Where's Lukas?" I said, my core suddenly worried. I hope he didn't do anything stupid! And why is Mia so nice! I felt the worry rush to my face again and I tried to rub my eyes, hoping this in fact was a dream.

"Sschh.." She whispered, her hand pushing my hair away from my face. "You had a panic attack and slept it off for some hours." She whispered trying to keep her voice low and I must admit the lack of loud and abrasive noises around me was really soothing.

"And Lukas?" I tried to say trough a rough and scratchy throat. "What time is it?" Not that I care I can fall back asleep any time now.

"He's just taking a shower." She said and I saw her face hoovering over me now, her eyes bloodshot and tired, make-up smeared over her cheeks. I don't care if he smells or not, I want him close, now more than ever. He was probably the only one who could give me a sense of being safe again. "It's almost time for bed." Mia's soft voice said as she started to yawn at her own words.

I looked around for the first time, shifting my head in Mia's lap. I knew for sure we were at their apartment when the light wooden coffee table came into my sight. "I need to sit up." I cleared my throat while leaving the safe haven of Mia's lap.

"Hi." Mia giggled when I sat up next to her on the couch and I pulled my knees to my chest.

"Hi." I said back, feeling awkward as I knew how much I hurt her. I hurt everyone around me and now life is going to get back at me for that. Karma is a bitch... The whole atmosphere turned awkward when neither of us knew what to say, the both of us just faintly smiling at each other.

Suddenly Mia shook her head as she deeply sighed. As unexpected as that she threw her arms around me from the side, pulling me into a tight hug. I wanted to pinch myself, to knock myself in the head but I was definitely not dreaming. "I'm sorry!" She sighed, as I could hear the regret in her voice. "I'm sorry for treating you like shit when you were only trying to help. I was so blinded by my own hurting I didn't give a damn about how miserable I was making everybody else. I'm sorry for being a shitty best friend." She cried now; her sobs softly muffled as she buried her head into our embrace.

I didn't know what to do, or say, or react. I was debating who was at fault here because in my head I was the one who hurt her. I should be asking her for forgiveness! "No, I'm sorry for not telling y-"

"Don't even think about apologizing!" She said into my hair as she held me even tighter. "I know how convincing my brother can be. I shouldn't blame any of you. I wouldn't have believed it anyway. I see that now." And at her words I eased into her, letting my head fall onto her shoulder and let the tears slide down my cheeks. I have my best friend back.

"I wouldn't make the same decision though..." I said while I enjoyed hugging my best friend, something I have been needing for a long time.

At my words she let out a chuckle. "Me neither! I would have never flirted with that asshole if I had known what a prick he would turn out to be." She gently let go of me, her eyes meeting mine. "Arggh Bella, I'm so sorry for everything." She grunted into her hands, letting go of frustration she had been holding for a long time.

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