Lady Vampire Knight (Vampire Knight Fanfiction)

Chapter 60: Leaving the Past Behind

It was much quieter outside than in the hall. I would like to say it was a nice, calm evening, with the soft breezes, but calm was the last thing I felt now. My mind whirled around with everything going on, reminders about doing homework, washing my hair, popped up, but the most prominent thing in the centre was my grief. I felt so spent and awful. I was such a fool.

There was someone outside when I walked out into the courtyard in front of the hall. Yagari leaned against a tree, his back to me, looking as casual as ever. Smoke drifted from the cigarette he held to his mouth, as he breathed in and out. I hadn't seen him for a while actually, since he wasn't teaching the Day Class anymore. Sadly, our usual teacher was back.

I made to go to the Moon Dorm, and promptly stumbled over the hem of my dress. Long dresses were a bother. Yagari looked up at the sound, but seeing it was only me, turned back to gaze in the opposite direction, the cigarette still bobbing to and from his mouth.

"What do you think of Ichiru joining the Day Class?" He asked me, not turning around. 

"I wouldn't know," I replied, walking up to join Yagari. "Why did the headmaster let him in?" If he hadn't come, I wouldn't be so upset. I wish I never met him. 

Yagari gave a snort of disgust.

"You tell me," he replied. "When I asked Kaien, all he said was that it was not in his control. He's the chairman of the whole school, of course it's in his control." I shook my head. Yagari was wrong. Kaien wasn't in control of the whole school.

"You forget about the vampires," I pointed out. "Kaname's in control, and the headmaster can do nothing but trust Kaname." A hell lot of good that did me as well.

Yagari was silent for a while. Guess I hit a nerve.

"What happened in there?" He asked finally. "I heard the gunshot. Do you know how many Day Class girls I had to ask to dance, just to divert the attention?" A smile quirked up on my lips. Yagari sounded thoroughly disgruntled.

"Is that why you're out here?" I asked him. "To get away from the Day Class girls." Yagari nodded, still breathing through his cigarette. A plume of smoke floated into my face, and I wrinkled my nose at the smell.

"You know that's not good for you right?" I informed him. Yagari just shrugged.

"I'm a vampire hunter. Any day now I could be killed by a stray vampire, or a Level E. Smoking is the least of my worries." I shrugged, not knowing what to say. Yagari was right, but it would be kind of ironic if he didn't die from a vampire attack, but from some disease.

Look at you know, throwing the word 'die' about like it's just a game. It is a game right? Any minute now, you could tear out his throat, drink his blood. He's lowered his guard. Come on, you're a monster aren't you? Well then listen to those monster instincts inside you. Listen to the strong steady pulse in his neck, in his wrists. His blood is right there, calling for you to drink it.

No. This was wrong. I wouldn't attack someone who taught me how to use a bow and arrow. What's the point of it?

"How are you going with Ichiru?" Yagari asked suddenly. I flinched. 

"Why do you ask?" I muttered. Yagari turned to look down at me.

"DId something happen?"

"Not necessarily," I replied, trying to keep my face impassive, but inside, my heart and mind was tearing itself to shreds.

"You know," Yagari settled back to stare at the sky. "When I trained Zero and Ichiru back when they were little, Ichiru was always quieter, weaker. Zero would protect him all the time, even form Kaito, another young hunter I was training. It is saddening to see them now, fighting each other like that. Ichiru is now stronger, crueler even, and Zero is still struggling and fighting. Both of them have gotten stronger, but neither of them have learned to trust other people easily enough. They will hurt people because they feel it is how they can protect themselves and others, even without realising."

"So what are you trying to say?" I asked, staring stonily at the surrounding view in front of me.

"What I'm saying is," Yagari replied. "That you shouldn't take anything Ichiru does or says to harshly. He might care about you deep down, but he tries to chase those feelings away, not understanding them completely. Just don't get too upset, Saki." Just don't get too upset. That was easy for him to say. It's not like he would ever understand what it's like.

"I should be going back," Yagari excused himself. "I need to keep an eye on Zero." Walking back into the hall, I watched as he left, his words revolving around my mind but never sinking in. 

Turning around, I placed my forehead against the tree, letting myself lean into it. Don't get too upset, he said. How am I supposed to not get upset? Raising a fist, I punched the tree weakly, not having the strength to punch harder. I just wanted to get rid of those memories of him. I don't want to ever have met him. I wish one of us had never existed.

"Do you want to forget about him?" Kaname's cool voice travelled through the night air. "It is upsetting seeing someone else punish themselves for another person's actions." I straightened up with a start, turning around to see Kaname standing there. His white uniform stood out in the dark, but I could still sense his presence. Blood bonds will be blood bonds.

"Why would you care?" I responded hoarsely. "Just go back to your dear Yuki." Kaname's eyes glowed red for a second and he strode forward, towards me. Instinctively I stepped back, only to hit the tree. Stuck.

"I can take away your memories of him," Kaname offered, his hand out to me. "It doesn't seem right of me to let you continue suffering after all that time I made you suffer." Kaname? Feeling guilty?

"You can make me forget him?" I looked at Kaname. "Are you sure?" Kaname nodded.

"I can."

"Then make me forget," I replied, almost at a whisper. "Erase every single memory of him." Kaname came right up to me, his hand reaching for my head. As he touched it, I closed my eyes, every single memory of the white-haired boy flooding into my eyes.

"As you wish," was the last thing I heard as I drifted off to sleep.