This Is Not a Tragedy

19 | Is It Okay if I Stay Me?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

"Well, have fun," Sergius calls with a grin, then rolls up the car window. He pulls off, leaving Nina and me standing on the London sidewalk. I put the money he gave us for the train in my wallet as Nina fidgets uncomfortably.

I climb the stairs to the London Library with her following. The view behind the doors is just as astonishing as I expected from its elegant exterior.

"Do you think they have modern books here? For teenagers?" Nina asks.

Again, what is her deal with 'modern books for teenagers?' "Ask the librarian," I tell her, then walk off. I halt as I realize, if we get separated in this huge library, that'll be a hassle. There's no way to get in touch with her without a cell—

"Um..." I turn around, and Nina is standing behind me. "Do you have a cell phone?"

"No." It's weird she's asking after what I was just thinking. After Sergius's revelation of reading minds, stuff like this always makes me suspicious.

"Uh, well, we should stay together then."

I hold back a groan—sort of. What comes out is essentially a sound like, "Oh," mixed with... well, a groan. But hopefully, she didn't catch that.

"Do you dislike me?"

Or she did. Her gaze seems either worried or confused. "No, I'm just... used to being alone. And I'm 'awkward' so..."

She gives a small smile. "Then we can probably get along fine. We can go browse your books first."

"Uh, no need. I'm a bit curious what these 'modern books for teenagers' you keep talking about are."

Again, she smiles.

However, it turns out the library doesn't have what she's looking for. Since the building is impressive in design, we decide to tour it before moving on to the next library. There is an incredible amount of rooms, each one full of dark wooden shelves filled two and three levels high with the multicolored strips of book spines. The higher levels have black, straight railing. There's a variety of seating—large wooden tables lined with chairs, smaller tables for more private reading, and burgundy armchairs to relax in. We occasionally pass by people browsing, reading, or studying. I wonder if the library makes them feel the same way that it makes me feel—at peace.

We head to other libraries, still looking for Nina's books and finding none. These libraries are just as mesmerizing, though. They're similar to the London Library, but there are slight differences. Some have more elaborate bookcases and railing. To be honest, my only past exposure to London was artwork in history books and the Harry Potter movies. It's interesting to see that these libraries don't fall far from those visions at all. Nina seems impressed too. However, her disappointment in not finding her desired books grows clearer.

"Should we just go to a bookstore?" I ask.

"Maybe we should try a smaller library. Just one more," she suggests.

Our final library is the Shoe Lane Library. When the librarian directs us to the teen section without a moment's hesitation, Nina's blue eyes brighten, and she speedily makes her way in that direction, the loose strands of her braid floating behind. She doesn't notice I've followed her until we reach the teen shelves.

"T-this library is smaller, so you can go find your books," she tells me.

"Like I said, I'm curious about these."

I slip random books from the shelves, reading the summaries on the backs or inside the book jackets. Most of the plots don't seem that bad, if not a bit shallow. Nothing like Murakami, though. Speaking of that, I wonder if they have any books written in Japanese. Probably not in this small library. Maybe in the ones we went to before. I look over to see what Nina's browsing.