broken ➳ destiel

eleven

"sometimes, you don't know how much something means to you until it's taken away." unknown

☁

"Castiel... wake up."

The words floated around the angels head as he was in a dark and empty room. It felt like he was in a tight tomb, where he can't move his arms nor his legs, he could only move his head and his eyes. But, moving both of them were useless. When he looked around, he saw nothing but black. His heart sank, seeing nothing but darkness. He tried to call out a name, but all that came out was air and sadness. The angel tried to get all the courage and eventually he could call out a single name.

Cas called out for Dean, his name echoing through the empty darkness. He called one more time, and it was nothing. There was nobody in there, nobody to save him. He tried moving his feet again, but they seemed as if they were held down by some force, same with his arms. He stood there for what seemed like hours, yet it was only a few minutes.

The enigma of the circumstance confused Castiel, although he thought he knew everything. He thought he knew what was going on, but by the minute his limbs became more numb and his mind became more foggy. The darkness seemed to be getting slightly brighter by the second. He couldn't think straight. He tried to focus on happiness, but all he could think about was the fact that he felt trapped. He couldn't fly, he couldn't communicate with his family, he was cold and hungry and felt like nobody loved him. 

"Cas, wake up."

That time, the voice was almost indescribably recognizable. He knew it was the man who stabbed him. The man who could've easily left him at that church, rotting for dead. Yet, he didn't. Was it because of the guilt portrayed on Dean's shoulders? He heard the way Dean had gasped when Cas' grace leaked out. He felt the way Dean struggled to pick his angel up because of the potential innocent blood on his hands. His deliberate hands that churned that knife in his back.

It was Dean's fault that Cas couldn't fly. He couldn't disappear from his conflicts or problems with a flutter of his ravenous wings. And now, he was trapped in what seemed like a dream. Like a birdcage where his wings are clipped the lights are out for the night. All Cas wished was to hold his dear brother tightly and tell him all of his problems.

When Cas was younger and still forming his grace and light, his brother was always by his side. When Cas struggled to use his powers, Gabriel would help him use them correctly. When Cas couldn't seem to complete his mission, his brother secretly did it for him. It was all so simple for the archangel to do, yet it meant everything for Castiel.

Similarity grew inside of Cas like a flower once again. It was similar to the circumstance that him and Dean were in. Dean simply helped him with everyday things, just like his brother Gabriel did. Cas struggled to be an angel, and so Gabriel believed in him. Cas struggled to be a human, and so Dean believed in him, too.

It was almost as if Cas' life was on repeat, except a little tiny complexity had changed.

As if the darkness had just evaporated, Cas' eyes snapped open. He was still in Dean's room yet his shirt and his dress pants were off too. He was bare except for his underwear. 

He quickly scrambled, ashamed of himself, to the nearest blanket. He looked around and saw Dean, Sam and Charlie sitting on chairs. Dean was listening to Led Zeppelin through headphones that were connected to his phone. Sam was researching on his laptop, and Charlie was reading a novel that Cas couldn't quite make out the title from the distance. 

Dean was the first to look up and he saw Cas looking terrified. Cas' blanket was tightly clutched to his chest and his body was rising up and down, breathing heavily.