Chapter Nineteen Part I: When The Lioness is Born

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 Kashera

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Kashera

Even the constant sting of the water splashing down on me couldn't distract me from the steady feelings of nervousness and anxiousness about the course of today. Today was the day that everything was going to truly change. No longer would I be able to hide my relationship with Matteo in secret. No more would there be questions of rather or not I was involved with him outside of a simple client and attorney relationship. From this day forward, I would be Kashera Daniels the lawyer: and the girlfriend of the infamously evil Leone Family leader, and I was scared out of my mind.

It didn't help at all that the past week had been a large mass of chaos from media speculation, to trying to make breaks on a case in which I don't have all the pieces of the puzzle for. It drove me crazy because I knew that I wouldn't get them until the last minute. I was worn out, and I didn't know how I was going to make It today. The party this evening had come around so quickly, and for as prepared as I'd like to think I was, waking up today I realized there wasn't enough preparation in the world and that didn't do anything for my constantly racing heart.

The only remedy that I could seem to find in all of this madness was Matteo. After our heart to heart last week, Matteo and I took a little time to find our groove again. I couldn't believe that I opened up about my past to him, yet I was so grateful that I did because it was proving to be working in our favor. With me putting my cards on the table for him, Matteo was able to gather a better understanding of his actions and how come they affected me the way they did.

Things were slow for us the first two or three days after the fact as he was still struggling to forgive himself in any capacity. It was difficult to make him see that if I was working to move on, he had to do the same. We couldn't remain stagnant in the negatives once we'd established the means to rectify them if we wanted to stand a sliver of a chance. It was steady work, but once he took the initiative to put his attention into the present and the future we finally got into a steady rhythm.

Matteo was putting his all into trying to make sure I understood him in ever facet that I could. He always let me know if he wasn't feeling like he was in the best space to speak with me how he felt I deserved to be communicated it. We were actually able to talk through those difficult moments, as there were many following that incident as he'd captured a good amount of the Mahari's men. He even started to explain, though not in explicit detail for the sake of my sanity, the processes that were occurring in his world. It was difficult to stomach at times, but I was more at ease at being shown his change in attitude. He didn't have to let me into his world that much, but he honestly wanted to and he made sure I knew that. He made sure I knew that he was trying. A part of me guessed that it was because he was still trying to create separation from him and my exes, but what he couldn't understand is that he was only proving me right. He could never be them. All of his actions and purposeful intent to put us, put me, first only made the oceans wide difference between them even greater.

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