Fear

6. two sides and a story

Two sides and a story.

These five words from Joshua has been lingering in my head for the past few hours of the day. I don't know why but something about that phrase made me feel... weird.

When I first met these bunch of guys, I simply saw them as murderers; evil and insane. However, the term 'murderers' is so general and most people would depict them as cruel and evil. I was one of the 'most people', until I realised that there was more to it than evil.

A murderer can be a person who killed in self-defence or for a good reason, all the way down to one who kills for fun or greed. Murderers have a story to tell as well. Is it a story of a hero? Protector? Or the story of a villain? Is it they kill for a good cause? Or they kill simply for hatred and revenge?

Maybe, just maybe. Jeonghan and the rest of them aren't as bad as I thought. But that still doesn't give me the reason to trust them.

I sigh in exasperation. I feel alone. I am alone.

I am in a house filled with thirteen boys who held me captive here. I do admit that this is better than those typical kidnapping you see in movies and shows. Even so, I feel lost.

There was no escape for me either. Judging by how this place is heavily guarded, there was no way I could leave this place however I want to.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Someone's voice broke my train of thoughts and I turned to my side to see Vernon settling down beside me on the couch.

"Huh?" I looked at him quizzically.

"I heard you sighing. What's up?" he asked as he popped a bar of chocolate in his mouth.

I shook my head. "Are you always this comfortable talking to other people?" I asked and he thought about it for awhile.

"No, but you seemed nice. Out of all the other girls I've met, you're the only one who seems normal."

"There are other girls before me? I mean, I'm not trying to say that I'm special or anything." I felt flustered for saying that.

"Relax, I know." Vernon laughed. "For sure there are other girls but they are more into money and lust." he explained and my face turned into disgust. "But I must say, you are a special case." he emphasised the word strongly.

"Why?"

"Because all the other girls who came here were through business." Minghao suddenly joined in and Vernon nodded.

"Oh, so you guys don't randomly kidnap people?" I said in slight sarcasm which I honestly don't mean to.

"We don't randomly kidnap people, but you happened to witness something you shouldn't see." Vernon casually answered and Minghao agreed.

Right. The murder. Thinking back about the murder made me shudder as I shifted uncomfortably in my position. Reality hit me, making sure to remind me that these two latters were still literal murderers. I could feel a lump growing in my throat and I avoid their gazes. I tried to mentally calm myself, hoping that the scene of the murder would slowly disappear in my mind. However each time I try, the death of that man kept flashing by. His body lied still with his eyes rolled up and blood gushed out with sickening determination from his head.

Breathe. I tell myself. You're fine.

"Shit, we didn't mean to say that." Minghao panicked and his eyes were darting back and forth.

"It's...okay." I assured them but at the same time, I was telling that to myself. I managed to swallow the growing lump in my throat and my breathing was getting normal again.