Perpetual Existence

One

October – Senior Year

The cool, fall day starts as any other. Having an endless life makes every day bleed into the next. It is simply another day in purgatory, aka high school; they're one in the same to me. I shift through the thoughts of my family, wincing when I catch a glimpse of Emmett's naked backside.

Again.

For the millionth time.

I avoid the mirror in my room as I leave, knowing I'll find nothing but flat, black eyes. There's no need to check if my hair looks good or if the colors of my clothes go well together.

I know they do.

My mother, Esme, whistles as I descend the staircase. Her tune matches perfectly to the fifties music playing in the background. The arrangement she's working on will add autumn touches throughout the house. Small pumpkins and gourds ripe with bright colors are the clear focal point.

Alice chats with Esme about the local police chief's daughter's postponed move to Forks coming to an end. The seemingly sweet girl they met briefly early spring, had to return to Arizona for her mother and stepfather due to an accident.

I try to tune out their inconsequential discussion, realizing too late that in doing so, my mind focuses on Emmett and Rosalie.

They've yet to put their amorous thoughts to rest.

Jasper groans nearby. "They do this on purpose, I swear." He has reason to complain; their mood will affect him, and the only way to deal with the excess is to channel it outward.

The last time my siblings caused Jasper to expel their mood it was to the unsuspecting students and faculty at school; resulting in Jessica Stanley's pregnancy, and is why Mr. Banner and Shelly Cope never make eye contact anymore.

No one but me knows who the father of Jessica's baby is—though, Mike has an inkling it's him. Jessica, however, hasn't allowed it to slow her down, and she's still top of her class.

I digress. The last thing we need is another incident of "spring fever" in the middle of fall at Forks High.

Emmett says a muffled, "Fuck you, Jazz," from his room.

I roll my eyes and head to the garage, since I rather not catch a blast of that mood from Jasper.

Alice giggles as I pass her and Esme, winking at me. "I'll take care of Jazz before we leave."

I give her a look she pointedly grins at. "I did not need to know that, Alice." I see myself answer in her vision. I walk out before I hear and see more of their encounter. They try for my benefit to rein it in, knowing I long for companionship. Sometimes, they utterly fail.

Carlisle has yet to leave for work at the hospital. He claps me on the shoulder, having heard the conversation from inside. He transfers bags of more pumpkins and sprays of fall leaves for Esme into his other hand.

"The fall usually makes…"

I cock an eyebrow, shaking my head. "We're all well aware that no matter the season, Emmett and Rosalie are unable to curb their appetites for each other."