Perpetual Existence

No One to Stop Us

After we make a few promises to each other, my eyes close as I lay my head on Bella's chest, lose myself to the rhythm of her heart. At any moment, I will step into the same day that has been haunting us for what seems like weeks. I continue to hum her lullaby, adding to the unfinished piece and noting the music in my mind. I want to remember, though I fear I may not have a choice.

In the time between Bella's death and starting the day again, we've gotten to know each other. Though she spends a lot of our time here in pain, she begs me to distract her. We've talked about our pasts, granted my turn takes much longer. Almost a century on this planet and yet, she wants to know everything about me.

It is rather strange as my soft humming slurs, and a sensation washes over my body. Weariness I haven't felt in eighty years weighs heavily on my eyelids. I no longer have the strength to stay upright. I shift Bella to lie on top of me, the ground beneath surprisingly soft. My fingers run through her hair, her whimpers have quieted over time. It's strange; I can't seem to grasp how long we've been here.

But I know our time is coming to a close. Again, fear rushes through me. What if I can't remember? Not because it's something I choose to forget, but by whatever magic this is.

"Don't be afraid." Bella's fingers brush along my jawline. "It's almost time." On shaky arms, she lifts herself up to hover above me, allowing her hair to fall around our faces. "Kiss me?"

Despite all the pain delivered by my hand, she still fell in love with me here in the dark.

She cocks a slim brow. "Quit overthinking, Edward."

A soft chuckle passes through my lips, causing her to smile. My fingers cradle the back of her head, using the leverage to pull her closer to my waiting mouth. She hums at the press of my lips. Her thighs part to straddle my hips, her hands lifting to my face. The kiss increases in intensity, both so lost that I just come to realize her tongue is in my mouth!

If my heart could beat, it would've stopped at that moment.

I pull away, shaking my head.

She laughs!

"You're not a vampire here, Edward." She's quick to remind me by pinching my side. Hard.

I yelp, making her giggle. "I thought I didn't have better senses but are you saying I'm human here?"

She shakes her head. "You told me once that your eyes were green when you were human, so no. They're a beautiful hazel color. I'm guessing you're more human here because it's what you want to be."

"So, we have some control over what happens here."

Bella shrugs, her lips twisting in confusion. "I'm not sure, maybe?" She closes her eyes, but a moan of pain hisses through her lips. "The pain won't go away."

"I'm sorry," I whisper it over and over, as I kiss every inch of her exquisite face. A lovely blush colors her cheeks, but it doesn't last long.

"Next time we can try something."

I nod, any attempt at a smile falls as she curls up against me. Pain causes her body to shudder and contort, twisting and breaking my heart. I cry, though no tears fall, as the room brightens around us.

.

.

.

My foot hits the stair tread hard, sending me catapulting into the same day. Frustration and anguish hit me and threaten to bring me to my knees. I can't allow myself to lose control now; I have a promise to keep.