Metanoia / H.S #Wattys2015

Chapter Six ▶ Pretty when you cry.

"Why can't I feel anything from anyone but you ?"

Audrey's pov

The one thing life has taught me is that people leave all the time if they want to or not, but they don't leave what's inside of us they will still be in our hearts and our minds. So we memorize everything about them, their laughs, the way their eyes light up when they hear something funny, their voices even their smell. They may not be actually with us anymore but in a way they will always live on in the houses we've created for them in our souls.

Things were never the same after michael had left us, Caroline came back to the centre after a while but it wasn't like before. It was the empty seat at our group sessions, the loss of laughter in the hall that made us realize that we had not only lost a friend, we had lost a piece of ourselves to. Harry and I didnt really talk anymore and we hadn't seen Caroline in days, untill today, the day of Michael memorial service.

It's the first time I see Caroline again, her eyes are red and you can see the growing emptiness inside them. Green day's Welcome to Paradise is softly playing in the heart of the centre, the curtains are closed and candles light up the entire room. Harry is standing next to me slowly taking my hand in his as the song comes to an end.

Pay attention to the cracked streets

And the broken homes

Some call it the slums

Some call it nice

I want to take you through

a wasteland I like to call my home

Welcome To Paradise

The whole room is silent as Caroline walks up to the front of the room. Her hands are shaking and she takes a deep breath, momentarily closing her eyes before speaking up. "Michael is special to me, he was special to me before he left and he's still special to me now." Emotions are written all over her face, tears are slowly making it's way down her cheeks but she goes on, for mike. "He has this gift to make people smile even when he was the one that needed it the most. So if you knew him personally he became a part of your heart and that's why I've not only lost him but a part of myself to."

It's harry's turn to talk now, I can sense how nervous he is in the way he's fiddling with the hem of his black shirt. There's a moment of silence before he starts talking. "I didn't want to care for anyone when I first came here, because caring meant giving someone else the power to destroy you. So when it did happen I was scared as fuck." Green eyes meet mine and I can't control the feeling that's making it's way to my heart. "But Mike was the one to show me that there is nothing wrong to care for someone more then you even care about yourself and fuck it wasn't supposed to be him, it wasn't supposed to fucking end like this."

I see him struggling with himself, his eyes are red and his breathing becomes faster with every word that leaves his lips . His eyes never leave mine as I walk up to him letting him know that whatever happens I'll always be by his side. "The truth is we all learned something from him, and we won't ever forget that, we'll always carry him with us in our hearts, thankyou.."

Everyone leaves the room, except for the three of us. "Thank you for speaking today, I'm sure michael cried up there even though he probably would deny it." A small smile plays on her lips, a thing I haven't seen in days, and it makes me think that maybe we will be okay after all.

There are people talking just outside the door as Harry and I have left the room. Some black haired guy with tattoo's and piercings all over his body is talking loudly gathering a crowd around him. "I don't know why everyone is making such a big deal out of this, who cares if the guy's dead people die all the time." I feel harry's hand leave mine and if looks could kill the guy would've been dead by now. He strides towards him, grabbing him by his collar and throwing him against the ground before throwing punches everywhere, sweat is dripping down his face and the muscles in his shoulder are flexed. Blood is dripping from the guy's face and I'm panicking right now. "Harry stop it your going to kill him like this please." He is snapped out of his rage by my words, letting the guy go. "Don't ever talk about him like that again." The guy hastily nods before walking away, taking his friends with him leaving me and Harry alone once again.

I slip my arms around his waist, burying my head in his neck and letting his warmth calm me down. "You can't just hit people like that. " "I know." He softly murmurs before slightly pulling away from me. We just stand there in silence, our heads touching remembering the times when everything was fine, but it's all wrong now.