Safe Haven

Fucking Liar

"Your birth parents, don't you miss them? I mean, of course, Jay's like a father to you, but not your real one," Erin said, looking into the child's stunned expression. She wanted to take the question back because she was one hundred percent sure that she was saying something wrong.

"So, let's go," Jay said, approaching, "Charlie, remember tomorrow's scho ..." Before Jay could finish his sentence, Charlie ran crying past him into her room. Her dad was not her dad? What kind of a weird woman met her father? She is not saying the truth, right?

"Did I miss something?" Jay asked confused.

"It may be that I told her indirectly that she had been adopted," Erin said, her voice softening. She was very sorry about the whole thing, she did not know that Charlie did not know that Jay adopted her.

Jay stared at Erin. Somehow he felt a lump in his throat and he also felt that his stomach was turning. He had been scared since then. He had sworn to tell Charlie the truth from the beginning (after Hank spoke to him), but he could not. He did not have the heart to tell a little child the truth. And every day Charlie lived with him, it was harder for him. Charlie is his kid, no matter what the DNA says.

"I'm sorry."

"I, um, I'll check on her," Jay said, leaving Erin standing by the front door.

Jay took a few deep breaths before knocking on her door, "Hey, may I come in?" Jay asked softly. Charlie turned in her bed. She preferred to stare at the wall instead of this man. Light tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Charlie, please let's talk," Jay said, looking at the huddled girl. He heard her cry. It hurt him to see his daughter like that. He did not mean to deny her the truth. He just had not the heart to tell a toddler what happened.

He sighed as Charlie did not answer. "Sweetie, I can explain it to you," Jay said.

"Go away!" She hissed when she realized that Jay wanted to sit on the edge of the bed. However, she was in no mood to hear any trivial apology. She just wanted to be alone and think about who her real parents are.

"Please Charlie let me explain it to you." Jay begged her and sat on the edge of the bed against her will.

"Fuck off!" She snapped.

Jay swallowed hard and simply continued with his explanation, "It was 12 years ago in winter. You were exposed in the police parking lot. You were so small and then we brought you to a foster home, but they weren't the right ones and then I adopted you about 10 years don't remember it because you were so young."

"I've been wanting to tell you that for a long time, but I couldn't," Jay explained, "It wasn't okay for me to lie to you. It wasn't my intention but then you started calling me Dad..."

Charlie jumped up from her position, punched her alleged father in the stomach and tried to throw him out of her room, "Leave me alone!" She yelled, beating and kicking. She did not want to hear such news. News that could not be true. Because of this, she never heard her stories about her mother, because he really did not know her.

"Charlie, let's talk!" Jay pleaded, but Charlie's beating only got stronger. In another attempt, he grasped her wrists, "I know you're mad at me, but understand my view as well," Jay tried to explain. The 12-year-old, however, had little understanding, freed herself from his grip and hissed, "Get out of my room! I never want to see you again! You're a fucking liar!"

Jay left her room with a heavy heart. Erin was still standing at the front door, watching the conversation from afar. It was not hard to hear, after all, the child screamed the whole time.

"I think it's better if you leave," Jay said. He had no desire for company nor would he leave Charlie alone in this condition.

"I'm really sorry, Jay," Erin said, "I didn't know that."

"Doesn't matter anymore," Jay said, "Charlie has brought so much joy into my life and then you suddenly turn up and mess my life up. Again."

"Jay, I ..." Erin tried to explain, but Jay did not let her finish, "12 years, Erin. You haven't contacted me for 12 years. You just left for New York. No goodbye. I actually wanted to ask you that evening if you would like to be my wife. I wanted to start a family with you, but you seemed to have better plans."

"I did not know you wanted to ask me," Erin said in surprise.

"Would anything have changed if you had known?" Jay asked and Erin shook her head, "I went to New York because I had to help my mother and the CPD would not have taken me as a detective anymore."

"Then your job and your mother were more important than our relationship. I have noticed in recent years that I'm happier without you," Jay concluded, closing the door in front of Erin. He needed his rest. He also hoped Charlie would sneak out of her room and say something encouraging. However, he also knew that his relationship with Charlie might not be the same as before. She hated him and it almost broke his heart.

He called Hailey, who was already at Molly's. He explained briefly the events of the last 10 minutes. Half an hour later, she was standing in front of Charlie's door. The girl had locked the door and answered no question from Hailey.

"Charlie open the door or I kick the door in," Hailey threatened after a time. The 12-year-old just did not react. Probably because she knew that neither Hailey nor Jay would enter her room.

"I screwed it up, right?" Jay said softly.

"Do you know what you really screwed up?" Hailey said, "You've decided to never tell Charlie the truth. With this decision, the whole intelligence is involved! We all had to play in your story of lies in the last 10 years!"

"It wasn't my intention, just ..." Jay tried to explain. However, Hailey interrupted him, "Just what? She was so cute? Jay, you should start to find the right explanation for this. You'll lose her otherwise."

"Am I losing you too?", Jay asked.

"Never," Hailey said.