are you leaving now? ◾j.jk & bts◾

RECAP 2

Jungkook runs out the door and could hear the yells of his members but he ignored them. He tells himself that he was used to the hits and that he knew he was worthless. His voices come back saying that he should kill himself.

The story progresses and Jungkook suddenly realizes he couldn't die yet because he was so young and had things to live for. His feet wanders back to the dorm and Jungkook thinks he heard music. He realizes it was the members' laughters. His mind starts to become confused because he said that the laughter was hell and he hated it but suddenly now he thought it was music.

Jungkook tells himself He was a coward because he couldn't bring himself to open the door. He shakes his head and opened the door hesitantly. His view was met with the faces of his members. He describes their emotions for each person and knows that he noticed their feelings and knows that they have never noticed his.

Namjoon asked him why he was gone but Jungkook ignores him and runs to his room, slamming the door shut. He didn't want to see the disappointment from their faces but he already knew that they were disappointed with him from the start. He thinks it could change but the voices tell him it won't.

Jungkook turns on the television and his eyes bore into the screen and focus on the conversation. He eventually turns it off seeing how bad it has become. He scoffs hearing that they thought that he had changed and he acted different. They didn't know that he was just the same but he had finally started to show it.

Too him, he thought the fans only cared about the other six. Forgetting about the one who made them "complete". But he wouldn't have known right? He didn't know it wasn't the truth. But he was too delusional right?

Jungkook goes to his bed and tells us how much he hates being an idol. How much he hates the fame, the singing, the dancing, the schedules and everything about it. He wanted to go home. Though he knew he never had one to begin with. He starts to write in his diary and writes down how he doesn't want to go. Yet, he picks up his things and heads to the studio.

He dances but messes up multiple times. The dance instructed gets mad at him and yells at him for his mistakes. Jungkook gets angry because that the members weren't doing anything but laughing while Jungkook actually tried. Though he was yelled at for doing something while they others were praised for doing nothing. After a while the practice ends and Jungkook gets held back to practice because he "held the group back". He wonders why he's even there if he was hated for his efforts.

Jungkook returns back and doesn't get a welcome but he was used to it so he didn't mind. He says how much he loves everyone and how no one did the same to him but once again, he says he was used to it. Even if it was not normal.

The story takes a slight turn and Jungkook finally realized that he wants to leave. He quietly sneaks out the back door and starts to cry as he wraps a mask around his face. He wondered why he just now cried. He wondered if he was just at weak that he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted someone to comfort him. He walks in the streets and hopes no one will recognize him.

He regrets not taking his things but he didn't want to go back. He hates being an idol.

The story then goes back to a diary page by Jungkook where he wishes he was still called Kook. Then it goes back to his debut date. It reads how he loves them so much and how they took good care of him. It ends with him saying that he wish he knew it was a lie and it would change. Almost thinking it was for the best.

It goes back to the present day and Jungkook stands by the edge of the bridge. He leans toward and his body gets engulfed into the deep water as he breath gets shagged. He realizes he doesn't want to go even if he said he did before. He struggles to try and grab something to hold onto but the current was to strong and Jungkook gets pushed in deeper and he finally loses his conscious. He regrets not being able to say how much he loves his members. But didn't he already say that?

Jungkook wakes up groggily in a white room with a large beeping sound coming from something beside him. He opens his eyes and realized he was in the hospital. He watched as a doctor walked in the room and started to speak but he couldn't hear her that well. He couldn't only make out a few words and she says he's going deaf. His heart drops at the words and he starts to cry. He knew that he wouldn't be able to hear his favorite sounds and he was afraid to be kicked out. He cried harder knowing that he should have been grateful for his hearing.

To him it felt like everything was getting taken away from him and he wasn't meant to be happy.

It's been a week since he was in the hospital and no one has visited him. He worries that they had forgotten about him or they didn't care. His voices return and tell him they wouldn't never care. He stayed in bed the whole day staring at the ceiling while he thought of the fact that he can't change anything because it was never his choice. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to see the people who were proud of him for making it so far.

The story skips a bit and it goes to the day where Jungkook finally is able to go home. Jungkook became happy for once and his body won't stay still. He had a smile plastered on his face while he thought of how his members would react.

He takes a taxi to the dorm and looks outside the window as snow is slowly falling down. Jungkook keeps the smile on his face even when he goes to the door. He looks into the window of the dorm and his smile immediately vanishes as he sees his members with someone else. They were laughing together too. Jungkook starts to become angry and his mind keeps saying, "Who are you!?"

He sees that no one notices but Jin Hyung suddenly gets up and runs to go to the door. Jungkook starts to breath heavily and feels nervous. Jin opened the door and goes up to Jungkook. He grabs his wrist when Jungkook tried to run away but he pulls him into a hug. Jungkook relaxes and listens to his steady heartbeat.

He lets go and and even though Jungkook couldn't hear him, he looked up and saw that Jin asked why he hated them. Jungkook scoffs and only gives him a look of disbelief. When Jin doesn't say anything else, Jungkook takes the chance and runs away. Like he always does.