Begin Again

Chapter 7

Song: This Town - Niall Horan
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"Careful, they bite"

I jumped back, startled at the sudden voice. Turning to my left I saw Carter standing a few feet away from me, wearing a grey buttoned shirt, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Oh, you scared me" I replied, trying to regain my calm heartbeat.

"You shouldn't bring your hand so close to their mouths, they'll think its food too"

I was at the park, standing near the rail of the lake. I bought some swan food on the way here and was trying to feed them. It was five in the evening, the sun slowly and at the same time hurriedly setting down.

"May I?" Asked Carter, streching out his hand, it took me a moment to realize he was asking for the food.

"Yea, sure" I said handing him the packet, making sure not a slight inch of my skin touches him.

He takes a few pieces out and bends down, throwing the food towards the white swans who had gathered around here when they saw me with food.

"Here, try it" he said looking up at me.

I hesitated for a moment, then bend down next to him. Grabbing the packet from his hand I took the food out and just like Carter threw it in water. The swans hurried to where the food was.

I watched their white furs, trying my best to avoid the person sitting next to me, forbidding my eyes from turning left.

I wondered why Carter was here, teaching me how to feed swans. I didn't understand this casual attitude today. He had been ignoring me ever since I came back, nothing more than a greeting. Why was he talking to me?

After a few moments Carter stood up, placing his hands on the rail and looking down in the lake. I threw some more bits of food before mimicking him.

"Ally told me about your mom" he said as I stood next to him.

A shiver ran through my body, I didn't know if I wanted to tell Carter about my mother's sickness. About what's happening in my life.

"I'm sorry" He said, turning to look at me.

I took in a deep breath, refusing to look back at him.

"Yeah, well things had been going smooth for a while now, it was about time something came up" I replied.

This caught me by surprise. I didn't know where my bitterness came from or more importantly why it came now, my anger at everything that had been happening was bubbling inside me. I had stuffed it so deep down since I heard the news that I forget these sharp emotions existed. I thought all I was left with were tears.

I wonder why these emotions came out in front of Carter.

"Eva," said Carter softly, still looking at me. "She's going to get better"

I wanted to say 'Don't talk softly with me, it brings back too many memories' but instead I nodded.

"Yea, yes, I mean she has to"

After a few more seconds Carter stopped looking at me, turning to face straight ahead again. I watched the swans as they swam away from us to people who had food.

"So, Kaisey!! She seemed really nice" I said in a chirpy voice, trying to get rid of the silence and the growing awkwardness.

I turned to face him, waiting for a response. After a moment he looked back at me, observing me. I remember that look, he was reading me. 'Eva, your an open book for me' his voice ran inside my head from years ago.