Hold Me Close (Sequel To Take Me Home and Keep Me Safe)

Chapter Nineteen

TW [suicide attempt]

Liam sighed as he finally hung up the phone, sitting at the counter in the kitchen with the door closed. He had been talking to the case worker of a girl who had had taken off with her nineteen year old boyfriend despite being fourteen about what to do with the entire situation, and it had taken far longer than he'd expected for it to. It felt as if he had been stuck on the phone all morning, and as soon as he hung up, there was a knock on the kitchen door.

He quickly ran a hand over his face, sitting up a little straighter. "C'mon in," he called out, and was surprised to see Cal standing there alone.

Surely the session hadn't ended already? A quick glance at his watch told him that yes, actually, it had.

He let out a small sigh, shoulders slumping. "I'm so sorry, Cal, you probably think I've been so rude. I swear, I spend half my time on that phone since working from home. Think I spend less time with my kids now than I did when I was full time," he said lightly, though the truth in the words was heavy on his shoulders. He knew he was still working far less than his husband was in order to pay the bills, but he still had Dad-guilt.

Cal just forced a small smile, one that didn't reach his worried eyes in a way that made Liam feel a little anxious. "Yeah, about that...have you talked to Niall lately? I mean, properly?" he asked, and Liam sighed because he hadn't, in all honesty. He barely had time to breathe lately.

"He tried to talk to me this morning, but what with that phone call going on so long and everything, I told him we would speak later...is it really bothering him, how much Zayn and I have been working lately? Because I've been thinking about taking some time off and everything - "

"Honestly? He didn't say a lot," Cal said softly, then held out a sheet of paper. "We did worksheets. He only answered one question."

Liam frowned, reaching out to take the sheet. He wasn't sure he was supposed to be reading what his son had written, because of confidentiality and everything. He was sure the only time Cal would allow him to do this was if Niall was at risk or -

"He only answered one?" he asked, looking down at the sheet.

Question number seven was the only one that didn't have a blank box beside it.

'A thought that won't leave me alone is...'

'They'll be okay without me.'

Liam frowned, reading the words again and trying to make sense of them. "What -" he glanced up at Cal, who was chewing on his lip. "What does he mean, 'they'll be okay without him'? Who? Surely he doesn't mean -"

The other man gave a small nod. "Yeah, I think he means all of you. His family. And when we were talking before, he seemed happy. Seemed being key there, it was like he was putting on a performance...today was the first time I didn't get a single thing out of him, Liam. I think maybe, you should talk to him as soon as you can. He's a good kid, but he's struggling and he's closing himself off to everyone. I don't like where his mind's going," Cal said softly, looking upset himself.

Liam had grown so used to the man's professionalism when it came to his own emotions, but his concern for Niall was obvious in a way that made Liam's heart skip a beat.

He felt awful, because he knew Niall hadn't quite been himself lately, but since Richard, he hadn't fully returned to himself anyway. He hated that he had almost grown so used to it that he hadn't been acknowledging the fact that his smallest son was slipping.

"Don't feel guilty, that won't help him," Cal said softly. "Look, you and Zayn have been busy, I get that. You have this amazing family to support...but that amazing family, these amazing kids - they need you more than they need any extra cash spent on them at Christmas. Working yourselves into the ground for a few extra pennies during the holidays at the expense of spending time with your children, it isn't worth it."