Me Without You

Chapter 28

It's my birthday and I have never felt so terrible in my entire life.

"Please be careful," my mom continued her little speech, placing my bags in the trunk of the taxi we got.

Ricky was busy placing his things in the back seat as he waited for our goodbye.

Darian had left earlier after we had our special goodbye and I missed him so much. He was already half across the world now and I had to face this without him.

"I will, mom. I love you and I'll call you as soon as I land," I promised. The flight was only an hour or two, if we were lucky enough to not have any delays. It was fall break and a lot of people were travelling now.

"Ok," she wiped her face and I knew she was trying to be strong for me. "I'm fine, mom. I promise and I have Ricky," we turned to him and he waved as I got inside the car.

"Ready?" I asked and he shook his head. "Nope, but let's fake until we make it."

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"Flight 220 for New York, is boarding now," the announcement was heard and we stared each other as we stood in line. I had my I.D. and boarding pass; my carry on Ricky's shoulder as he begged to do all the carrying. "I'm nervous," he shook his hands as they allowed us through and we went to our seats.

I hadn't done much talking, my mind was else where and I was sure Ricky sensed it; which was why he was trying to make small talk. The random thoughts only continued; I was supposed to be with Ricky. This was supposed to be our special trip; our first plane ride.

I had a lot on my mind and I knew once we landed I was going to have to tell Ricky; or rather show him. I brought my lab top so we could watch the videos together. I finally finished the letters and after reading the last one, Q was supposed to meet us at the hotel. I wondered if he even knew Bennie was dead. I am sure he saw that he was inactive on social media, but no one knew he existed.

Bennie didn't leave any contact information which only made it sadder, because he thought that he would be here to experience this. Another pang hit my heart and I had to control my breathing.

"Hey," Ricky grabbed my hand and I smiled at him. "Let's talk about something," he tried to distract me, "I heard they have really good pizza. I guess when we land we can order some," he continued. "I would like that," I nodded, agreeing with the thought of good food. "So, anything else happened that I should know about?" he asked and I bit my lip. 

"He had a boyfriend," I started and his eyes widened. "Wow," he looked stunned. "I had no clue, of course," I paused, "I know. I shouldn't blame myself. He also made videos." "Videos?" he questioned, "what kind of videos?" "Not like that," I laughed at his face and he relaxed. "Ok," he chuckled, "good. That would be weird."

"He recorded himself, talking about our friendship and this trip. He also secretly recorded me and I saw the guy. He's really cute. He was supposed to be coming, but I'm not even sure if he knows Bennie is gone."

"Wow," he bit his lip, "you think we'll see him?" he asked and I shrugged. "All I know is his first name, Bennie didn't leave any information on how to contact him." "Why would he, he thought he was going to introduce you both by now," he paused, "I hope we see him. He deserves to know the truth."

"I can't even process the truth," I leaned against him and he rested his head on mine. "We can do this, Roxie. For Bennie," he whispered.

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"How could he afford this?" Ricky asked, as we tossed our bags on the bed. Bennie had booked two rooms and so far no one came to check in the other room, but we decided to keep it since it was paid already.