The SECRET untold (ff X Reader)

Hurting past

*y/n's pov*

I'm so nervous. Tomorrow is the day . Gawd. I can't sleep today. I really can't think right now. What am I gonna do tomorrow?

It's gonna be super awkward. Ugh.

I hate this.

I wouldn't have had to do this if my dad was nice . Idiot.

Poor mom. I miss you mom.

Well my dad is a huge business man . He is the CEO of "Pearluxis", a luxury travel company. It was actually started by his father.

Then my dad fell in love with my mom and they got married. I've heard that I have a brother but I've never seen but ya I remember mom showing me his pics. She said he stays in hostel cause he was being naughty and wasn't studying. I don't even know his name lol.

Well I wonder where he is and why is he not bothered . Does he even know what's happening? Or is he purposefully staying away? It's been a long time I'm sure. 

By the time I was 8, my dad dumped my mom and married my mom's best friend. She was already married but she says that her husband died. She had a kid too.

After her husband died, she was jobless and was Searching for a job. My mom said she will help her get a job in my dad's office. And she finally got a job .

I guess things happened after that. Well I've never seen my dad being that happy with my mom afterwards . I don't remember any scenarios. I remember my mom crying to sleep everyday. Dad used to sleep in the other room.

I didn't understand then.

After divorce ..I've never seen my mom.

But she came to meet me one day...and it was my bday that day. Nobody wished me. Even my dad did not. Nobody remembered.

It was like a ordinary day. I was so sad.

I was still a kid and I lived with my dad and my step mom.

I was so happy that day. I cried a lot when I saw her. I hugged her tight. I didn't wanna lose her. Tears were rolling down from both of our eyes. I don't know if it was happiness tears or sadness..or because I missed her a lot.

But then that idiot step mother was there. She fired her a lot. I defended. But she didn't care at all. She threatened my mom saying " if you come here to visit your daughter or your husband again..I'll sue you and cancel the contract and leave you with no money. You will be begging on the streets since you can never get a job again after the divorce. I can't let that happen can I? So you better leave and never come back. "

I was shocked. I held my mom's feet tightly and begged to not go. She was hurting too.

She said " baby, I'm sorry, I have to go. Don't worry about me..I'll be fine...live with your dad and study well , get a good job. I don't have enough money to take care of you dear. I'm sorry. I'll pray for you.. please be safe and take care...I love you..and promise me that you will study well and be a good, bold woman in the future. I know you will be. My sweetheart." Tears rolled down from her eyes. I can feel how hurt she was. I was too.

I still didn't wanna give up. I promised her and told her that it's okay..and that I'll go with her wherever she's going and help her. But she refused. My step mom pulled me forcefully. I didn't wanna let go of my mom.

My shitty step mom called up the security. Ugh. Bitch.

Mom said, " I'll love you forever baby. Be confident and always be kind and courageous. Listen to your heart. You're mamma's little star. nothing will change that. Happy birthday love. " She then handed me a nice silver chain with a heart locket .

The guards came in. I held her tightly..not wanting to let her go. But I was pulled away by my step mom..and my mom was pulled away by the guards she had arranged.

Bitch.

Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained.

She closed my mouth so that I wouldn't make much noise.

She has a daughter. She's a bitch too. She's elder than me. She bullies me a lot and make me do household works and my step mom laughs at me and support her. I was done ...done with life...done with everything.

I think that my biggest mistake is thinking that people care for me as much as I do for them.

So I decided to run away since my dad doesn't care anyway..but deep inside I believed that he really cared. I wanted him to feel a little love for me...care for me..check what I'm doing.

But no he didn't . He was happy in his own world. I guess he even forgot that I existed.

It's like he doesn't know me anymore. 

We were close when I was small. We used to go out together to the park whenever he's free and we both used to sleep together with mom. We had lots of fun. But now...he doesn't even care. 

It hurts.

It hurts if someone tells you they don’t want you, but it hurts more if they don’t tell you. Why ain't my dad talking to me ?

It hurts the most when the person that made you feel special yesterday makes you feel so unwanted today.

Love is blind and love can be foolish. Our heart doesn’t always love the right people at the right time. Sometimes we hurt the ones that love us the most and sometimes we love the ones that don’t deserve our love at all.  That's what's going on between my parents...my dad ain't realising who actually truly loves him.

I know how hurt my mom must be .Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him.

That night I was awake thinking what to do next. Should I really run away? I was confused.

It's then I remembered about the chain that my mom gave which was in my pocket. I hid it when that bitch pulled me away forcefully.

I didn't even get the time to think and check out my mom's gift.

I made sure if my room was closed. Well actually it's not my room. It's a small guest room . My room is taken by my step sister.

It's like I don't even belong in here. My heart felt heavy. I gripped on tight on the locket inside my pocket.

I took it outside and looked closely to view the design.

It was a plain heart .

I didn't wanna wear it Infront of those bitches. They will surely take it away .

It's then I noticed that there's something like a tiny gap on the sides.

*Tears rolling seeing the sight*

I opened the heart and found a picture of me and my mom .

My heart ached. I wanted to cry loudly but I can't.

I decided to leave my house the next day. I felt that it's the right decision.

I don’t want to get attached to anyone, anymore. I'm done. My heart aches.

But then I thought I'll stay for a month and then leave cause my  vacation was about to start.

I still hoped that my dad would come to find me if I ran away. That hope remained.

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I'll try to update whenever possible. XOXOXO.

LOVE,
JASMINE FELICITY