Hodge Podge's "Diary" for the broken and lonely

Life and a love for accomplishment

I've got two big subjects to talk about, and maybe a few smaller ones will come up while I'm at it.

The first I'll bring up, is the thrill of accomplishing something. So many people have trouble staying motivated through something. I certainly do. We procrastinate, and we sit and get frustrated when we can't figure something out. It pretty much makes us bonkers. In the end, half of us gives up and moves on, while the other half just keeps pushing. Again we must face the internal debates and conflicts, and in our heads we start to sound a lot like the highlights of a political WWE Smackdown in its most dramatic moments. And then, when we eventually figure out how to do what was make us so mad, we feel like an idiot, but the sense of relief and pride for overcoming the obstacle takes that idiotic feeling and throws it through a window. That's how I've been feeling lately, but especially today.

Today I learned how to put pleats in a skirt, and realized I was an idiot for hemming the skirt yolk (funniest thing I've heard thus far when it comes to clothes making terms, can you top it?) And then trying to fold it all funny and go around the top. All I actually had to do was lay the right sides together and sew around, then open it up and it'd be all good. I also, just minutes ago, figured out how to publish things from here. I never even noticed the little green arrow till tonight when my finger hit it by accident. And the excitement that came with that accident.... is currently unmatched.

Moving on, my second subject for the night, is Life. Time to be poetic and let my inner philosopher show. Nah.

Lately I've had a few people tell me about some things going on in their lives that are difficult. Most common has been the loss of someone they cared about, in one way or another. others have been getting into fights. I don't know what things are like out there wherever you are right now, but I know that no matter who you are, something is going on, and you're upset by it. Even when it doesn't directly effect us, we still get upset.

In the school I used to go to, someone who I was friends with recently died. This person had been trying to start a fight for reasons I don't know, and the person he was trying to start it with kept walking away, trying to ignore it. But no one can ignore someone in your face trying to start something forever. Eventually he snapped, and hit him. He fell back and hit his head on the floor, and died. The boy who swung immediately walked himself to the office, knowing he was in trouble. None of it was planned, and the boy had tried to avoid it. Now he's in a different school, a school normally associated with the bad kids. The two big local high schools wouldn't take him because over half the student's in both were threatening to kill him, and anyone who stood up for either him or the dead boy, or supported either of them. The boy in the new school is already going to have to live with this accident, and deal with the fact that he now faces the problem of not being able to go to college, as he was working to get a full ride scholarship from sports (of which this new school has none). Is it really needed, to threaten his life on top of it as well? And what about all the supporters on either sides? What's with the threats? It's bad enough when everyday you turn on the news to a story on another school shooting, or something equally as hateful and horrible. This happens everywhere these days, people are so angry, and they do these stupid things. What happened to the great world we once lived in? Can we not just live at peace with one another?

You know, we humans are the only animal that pointlessly kills others of our same species, accident or on purpose.

But think about the two boys, the consequences of what happened. One boy tried to start a fight, and he died. think about the last time you had an agreement you wouldn't give up, maybe even now, you are still arguing your side of it. Think of every fight you've been in. Does it scare you? Thinking you could have ever been in either of their shoes? It should.

Sometimes, the people I talk to are about ready to just quit. Sometimes that's why I talk to them. They are so done with being here, but sometimes I can bring them back. I've done it before, once for a girl who knew her every friend was fake, and so she drowned her sorrows in alcohol every night, another time for a boy who liked a girl, who wouldn't take him because he "lived too far away" (a block) but happily took a guy on a separate continent.

Sometimes, I find people too eager to throw it all away. Life is an amazing thing, but you don't know it until you see it taken away. And some days will be darker, I know.

But, scientifically speaking, it's only because our pupils contract when we hear bad news, letting in less light and making things seem darker than they are. Poetically speaking, The sun never left, it's always been there, you just couldn't see it.

Moral of the page, Life is beautiful, and shouldn't be given up on because of a few clouds, no matter how frustrating it gets. I know it hurts, but once you over come the obstacles, and I know you will, The sense of Pride and Excitement, will be unmatched.

Goodnight.

-Liz