⚠️ trigger warning (if you are struggling with your life rn and dont feel like you can handle reading something like that, than dont read this chapter please, it isnt very deep tho)
Pov Mattia
It was one of these days, where I just laid in my bed, crying myself to sleep. I felt like I was nothing and nobody really loves me. For the most that sounds like shit because I have friends, im fame on tiktok and almost every girl i met flirts with me, but I just feel empty. There's just something I miss, that I have never had. I don't even know if this makes sense. I don't use to be like this, normally I am the happy and funny Mattia, that has no problems and has the best life. Normally. But since last month, everything changed, I don't know what it is, but I don't have fun anymore in things I used to enjoy.
Next morning:
I groaned as I woked up because of my alarm that went on. Today was Monday. The only thing I wanted to do, was to lay in bed forever, but I knew I had to stand up. So I quickly made myself ready for school and went down. I grabbed myself a bred, put earphones in, played a sad song and locked the door. I felt the cold air on my skin, but not like everyone else, I enjoyed the cold air. It just made me feel something. Soon I saw my school. I sighed and took my earphones out. When I entered the school I felt all the stares at me, just like every morning. Most of them were from girls, that looked at me like im not human, I mean I get that I should be thankful for that, but I dont wanna be treated like im a doll. The other stares were disgusting or enviously, most from the boys. The stares are making me feel so unnormal. I looked for my friends and went over to them, as I saw them.
„Hey Mattia, did you hear the news?", Kairi asked me excited.
„No what is it?", I asked, not really interested, but I didnt wanted to be rude to him.
„We're getting a new student, probably a boy, isn't that cool!", Kairi said so happy. He's too pure.
„Yeah that's really cool", I said to him, because I didnt wanted be the one to put his mood down. He's the only person, who is really my friend right now and don't just hang out with me because of my fame.
Soon we went to our class. We talked until our teacher came in with a boy.
„Goodmorning everybody, as y'all can see you get a new classmate, his name is Alejandro, please be nice to him. Also I need someone to show him the school, anyone would like to volunteer?", our teacher spoke up.
Of course Kairi volunteered. The teacher told Alejandro to sit at the table beside me because it was the only one free. I groaned because I enjoyed beeing alone in the back of our classroom. Alejandro smiled at me as he walked to his place, I just shot a short look at him and then turned around.
During the break I sat with my other „friends" while Kairi was showing Alejandro the school. I already dont like that new kid, I feel like he will take my only real friend I have left.
When school was over I went to go home, but I heard Kairi shouting my name so I turned around and saw him with that Alejandro kid.
„Mattia, can Alejandro walk with you because he lives nearly next to you and he dont know the way yet"
„How did he come here then?"
„His mother drove him but she cant right now so be nice and take him with you.", Kairi said with a look on his face that wouldn't allow me to say no. So I just sighed and walked off. When Alejandro didnt followed me, I turned around and saw him still standing there with Kairi, both looking at me.
„You coming or what?", I said annoyed.
Alejandro looked shooked at first but then quickly got to me, I turned to Kairi and saw him smiling and forming a ‚thank you' with his mouth. I walked fast not caring that Alejandro almost had to jog.
„Can you slow down a bit please", he asked.
I just walked faster not listening to what he was saying.
„Look I get it, you dont like me but can you at least tell me what I did?"
I started to getting angry so I turned around.
„You really wanna know why? Because I know how you are, you will just take my only real friend I have and then I dont have anybody. So yes you're right, I dont like you", I shouted in his face.
„What?! I have never planned to take Kairi away from you, I mean yes he is nice and everything but I would never take him away from you"
„Sure", I said not believing him.
Thats when I saw my house.
„My house is right there, do you know where you have to go now?"
„Yes its right there", he said pointing at a house a nearly next to mine, just as Kairi said.
I nodded and went to my frontdoor, opening it.
„Youre lonely", Alejandro suddenly said, looking at me.
Mattia was shooked and couldnt really talk, so he just looked at him before closing the door. Because of that he didnt hear Alejandro mumble:
„just like me"
