My Everything

Chapter 19

Dawson
Ok so no denying it I have a thing for a girl and she has a thing for me. Ya it's scary
I have Saturday and Sunday to figure my shit out and hopefully I can do just that. First things first Charlie and Valerie I need to talk to them. I had gone home Friday night and didn't talk to anybody I just showered and went to sleep.
It's currently 9 o'clock and me and Dylan are still going to the park in the afternoon. I want this Valerie thing done first so I text her to be over at my place in 10 minutes and she replied saying she was on her way. I walked over to Charlie's room knocked and waited for his answer not a minute later his door swung open to a half asleep brother.
"Valerie should be here any minute put a shirt on"
His face went into a shock
"What! Now! But I look like this and my room" he started running around throwing things in corners and trying to make his room presentable and I left him to his scrambling and headed to the kitchen to get water.
When everything is done here I want to talk to Cole so I text him next asking what time he's done with work. He responds saying 3 so I make plans with him to grab lunch. I'm still not sure what to say to him we have been together for so long what's even going to happen?
I hear a knocking and go to my door seeing Valerie through the window. I open the door and before she can even get a word out I start walking up the stairs hoping she knows to follow. And she does, I walk into my brothers now spotless room. I'm honestly surprised he was able to clean it this fast.
"Sit both of you"
both of them have seen me being angry and in control and know not to question me they just listen.
"First thing I want say is that Val, I thought we where close enough like sisters that you would tell me something like this."
She looks guilty and rightfully so.
"Dawson I'm so sorry I never meant for any of this to happen it just did"
"And what is 'this' what are you two?" my brother decides to chime in and say
"I love her D"
I believe him. But that doesn't change the fact that he still vulnerable and Val is my best friend who shouldn't be dating my brother.
"Does she even know about everything with you and I mean everything"
there is no way he told her about rehab.
"I know about everything Dawson the moment we got serious he told me" that kind of changes things
"Charlie being in a serious relationship is the last thing you need right out of rehab"
I'm trying to get him to see reason.
"I know and that's why I tried to deny this but D she is good for me you should know better than anyone she's your best friend"
I don't like this not at all but the way they are talking has me thinking it's better to just let them figure it out on their own and forgive which is not easy for me.
"Look I don't like that this is happening but apparently there's no changing it so here's what's is gonna happen no PDA in front of me and Val I'm your best friend first cause with everything going on in my life I kinda need you right now" they both looked at each other.
"Done deal I'm glad to have my best friend back"
That's one thing done! Maybe this weekend and figuring everything out won't be so bad.
—
It's 12:30 and I'm on my way to meet up with Dylan. I think I'm gonna tell him about karter. He's probably one of the only people I know who will understand what I'm going through. I park my car and walk to the field. Dylan is already on the field practicing.
"Hey" he gets caught off guard and misses all I do is laugh.
"You ruined my shot asshole" he starts walking toward me at the bench.
"You wouldn't have made it anyway" poking fun at him. I start to put my cleats on and hair up.
"So I have a revaluation for you" I look up to him waiting for him to say what it is.
"I like girls"
not what I though he was about to say.
"But.... I also like guys"
that makes more sense.
I'm not sure what to say to that. Maybe it's my turn to reveal my secret.
"Hahah same" I joke trying to use my 'coming out' or whatever in a funny way. I don't think he got my joke though cause all he does is laugh.
"No Dawson I mean like I'm bisexual" I love Dylan but he's a little slow.
"Ya same" I try to sound as nonchalant as possible and grab my stick and a ball and run towards the goal.
"Dawson I'm sorry I don't think your understanding" I just laugh at his slowness
"Dyl I'm into girls or well a girl" his face makes an oooohh expression and then he smiles
"Dude your telling me we both came out to eachother at the same time" it seems like it.
"Screw practicing I wanna talk" he grabs my hand and pulls me to the bleachers.
"When did this happen" I try to think back to the exact second I knew but I honestly think it's the first moment I saw her at the party and I just was denying it till now
"I have been thinking about it for a while ever since I met this girl at a party" he looks like a proud father staring at me.
"That's awesome Dawsonbut what about Cole?" I smile
"I need to have a talk with him and we'll see from there. But what about you, how did you come to this revelation"
he sits quiet for a second and then speaks
"Well when I told you I was gay was because I knew I liked this boy but then I met this girl I really like so I figured if I can really like both then"
I'm happy for him.
"Ok so now that that's out of the way who's this girls you like Dylan" I haven't really seen him with any girls so I have no clue who she is all I know is that Val seems to think that he is dating a girl from reed but he hasn't mentioned her at all.
"She plays for Reef and before you get mad she's really nice"
so Val wasn't lying I wonder if Karter will know who he likes I want to text her but I still haven't gotten her number. Damn I really need to do that. I could always Dm her.
"Here's her instagram"
he passes his phone to me and my face totally gave away allot of shock. The Instagram he was showing me was of Karter! Karters Instagram.
"You know her"
he definitely saw the shock in my face.
"Umm nope I don't only time I saw her was near my car that one day"
I lied I don't know why I lied but I did I think maybe I just didn't want Dylan to know about me and Karter cause 1) I'm not ready to be linked to her romantically and 2) I don't want to put her to Dylan if she's not ready.
"Oh ya I remember that"
he stands back up and goes back to practicing I follow him but my mind was occupied the rest of us practicing. I had questions for Karter like did she know Dylan likes her or does she know we are best friends, is she playing me.
—
We finished practicing about an hour ago. I hurst went straight home to change and get ready to meet up with Cole. I was extremely nervous my stomach had butterflies, my hands where clammy, and my heart was beating super fast. 2:53 i sigh as the last time I checked my phone it was 2:52 and I can't help it. He should be on his way and I still haven't figured out what I'm gonna say. Is he going to hate me?
"Cole is her D"
Charlie screams from downstairs. Ok it's go time. I walk down the stairs and see him hanging out with my brother probably talking about lacrosse.
"Hey babe lets go"
he turns to see me and smiles. I'm sad. He walks over to me and goes to kiss me but I swerve it into a hug and he notices and gives me a questioning look I just walk to the door.
"Bye Charlie be back in a little"
"Have fun crazy kids" embarrassing is what comes to mind when my brother says that.
We get into his car and drive to the local spot Ale house. You always run into people you know there it's inevitable but not this early every one shows up around at 7 and it's only 3 right now.
The car ride is filled with awkward silence I'm not sure what to say and Cole can sense something wrong. He has always been good at reading me. When we finally get there the silence continues we walk in and Cole gets us a corner booth far away from all the other people eating.
"What's going on"
he asks gently and I just feel so guilty. I'm not sure where to start this conversation.
"Cole I think ....."
the right words just aren't coming out.
"Dawson it's ok" I look down at my hands and try again.
"I have feeling for someone else and it made me rethink allot in our relationship"
I look at his face to try to see if he's mad but the only expression is a look of sadness
"Dawson I think I've know you haven't been completely there with me for a long time"
I'm a little relieved it's not a total shocker to him but his sad face just makes me feel even guiltier.
"We have been together for so long I'm not even sure where we go from here"
he reaches across the table and grabs my hand.
"Dawson we have been together for so long because we where best friends first and we will continue to be  in each other's life" I'm surprised at how well this is going I was kind of expecting tears.
"Cole I'm so sorry"
he squeezes my hand and smiles
"D it's ok I think we both have known for awhile that just because we live eachother doesn't mean we are still in live with each-other"
this went better than expected. We stay in our booth and talk about school, lacrosse, sports, family, and he even tried to ask me who I had feelings for but I shut that down real quick. After we finished up he took he home kissed me on my cheek and told me that he will always love me. Today I solved allot of my issues and tomorrow I'll clean the rest of my life up so come Monday I can talk to Karter with no extra baggage.