When Darkness Dawns

Not Wanting to Say Goodbye

Here I am, surrounded by three new friends and an old one, and I can't find it in myself to feel anything but happiness. Not even the thought of Darius knowing my secret can bring me down, not even the thought of 9 other guys I've only just met knowing my secret can bring me down. Something tells me that the latter isn't very bothersome because, for some reason, I know I can trust them.

"Hmm, so what are you teaching me today?" I ask Wil, smiling at his adorable self. He may have some acne and acne scarring on his face, but the glasses and his frame and everything else about him is just adorable to me.

I catch the other three looking at me from the side of my eye as well, as we're all sitting at a circular table tucked away in the corner of the library--Wil and I's spot. I blush at the feeling of their eyes on me.

Apparently, they only intended on coming in here briefly to grab some books--save Nathan--but after I nearly kissed Kota, I guess they decided to stay. I can't say I'm not thrilled.

He gives me a small smile, though something about it seems more strained than usual, and I don't know why. "Nothing new, just reviewing our last lesson: Morse Code."

I give him a playful eyeroll of mock annoyance, and then I say, "Come on, again? But you know me; I had it memorized in ten minutes."

"Really?" Kota asks, making me turn my head a little to the right to look at him, as he's about a foot away from me. I can't help but admire his very handsome face again. He's just so pretty and handsome and kind! But, like, in a completely adorable, understated, nerdy kind of way. One of the best ways, in my humble opinion.

His eyes are green like mine, though much richer and more foresty--less haunted. They're hidden behind a pair of black-rimmed glasses. His chin is sharp, and his cheekbones are pronounced, yet soft at the same time--almost as soft-looking as his chocolate brown hair. He's about a head taller than me, and his body is muscled, yet not overly so. I flush a deep crimson red again just thinking about the way it felt pressed against mine, the way it felt under mine, the way it felt so warm against mine when our lips were just a breath away and we almost--

"Sang? You there?" The boy in question waves his hand in my face playfully, chuckling. I give a nervous giggle, my face as red as a tomato.

"Ha, yeah, um... sorry. I got a little in my head for a second there. Could you maybe, uh, repeat the question?"

They all laugh, not bothering to be too quiet, as we're literally the only people in the library now, and even if we weren't, the spot we're in is still secluded. No one would really be able to hear us anyway.

"I said: 'Really?'" he repeats, not looking the slightest bit annoyed, just amused.

I smile, "Yeah, I have a pretty good memory. Not photographic, but my old doctor said that when I learn something new, my brain has a higher chance of retraining the information than the average human. So if I were to, say, read the entirety of War and Peace--which I have--I would only have to read it through a couple times to be able to recite the whole thing."

Corey, who looks so much like Brandon that I could barely even tell the difference, lifts a brow and asks, "Oh, really? And can you? Recite the whole thing, I mean." His cerulean blue eyes light up with curiosity, looking so similar yet so completely different from Brandon. That's actually the reason why I was able to tell the difference between the two.

Because even in the dark, you can't miss the way Brandon's eyes shine with a kind of sadness that rivals the hue in my eyes. Corey doesn't have that, thank God. I just wish Brandon didn't either. He doesn't deserve the despair.