𝖶𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖳𝗂𝗉𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖫𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗌

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟

There is no right or wrong way to experience grief. Just as there is no right or wrong way to write it. Everyone is different, each set of circumstances are different.

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟
• 𝐍𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬: Your character may go into auto-pilot and be unable to process the events that have unfolded.
• 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫: This can be aimed at other people, at a Higher Being, or at nothing in particular.
• 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲: Your characters may be unsteady. For example, unable to stop their voice from shaking or they may find it difficult to stand.
• 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬: Your character may disregard their own feelings because they are so overwhelmed and instead concentrate on someone else's well-being.
• 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬: Amid upheavals, your character may seek comfort in tasks that are familiar and "safe," such as working, cleaning, making their bed, making absurd amounts of tea or taking a morning walk.
• 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲: Grief is viewed as an emotional that should cease or be concealed once the funeral is over. So people mention the news in an offhand comment, then talk and laugh as if all is right in the world.
• 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥: Some people deny the reality of death and convince themselves that the news is a joke or can't be true

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫
• People may avoid your character as they do not know what to say or simply can't find the right words.
• Some might even go as far as to cross the street when they notice your character is approaching.
• Even people your character has known for years may act strange or standoff-ish, simply because they don't know what to say.
• On the other side of that, some people may be overly helpful and friendly.
• It is not uncommon for estranged friends, family members or others to reappear in a person's life after they have experienced grief.
• Either because these people want to offer support and love or they want to be kept up to date on the "drama"
• Most people will move on fairly quickly if they weren't emotionally invested.
• Some may even get annoyed at your character for being upset weeks or even months later.

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭
• Your character may begin to cry or get upset at the thought of the person they have lost.
• The person they are talking to may become awkward and avoid eye contact when your character brings up the one they have lost.
• Others may ask or tell your character to stop talking about the person they have lost. They may roll their eyes, cough awkwardly or cut off your character mid sentence so they can change the subject.
• Some people may ask inappropriate questions regarding the circumstances in which the character's loved one passed away. Depending on the personality of your character they may react differently.

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬
• Grief is not constrained by time.
• One of the main problems with grief in fiction is that it only lasts for a few scenes and then the character is happy again. Grief does not evaporate because the world needs saving.
• Allow your character to wrestle with their grief.
• Your character may feel guilty. They may feel a twinge if guilt whenever they laugh or have a good time with someone else; when they do something to remind them that they're still alive and their loved one isn't.
• Grief is a game changer. A previously outgoing character may withdraw and isolate themselves. Some may take grief as a sign that life is too short; they may make big decisions in an attempt to make them feel better and grow away from their pain.
• Sometimes grief can help you find your purpose.
• At first grief can be all consuming. It hurts and you really can't control it. It may seem unrelenting. Eventually the grief becomes easier to deal with, your character may find the days to get better, but that doesn't mean that when it hits it doesn't hurt.
• For most people, grief doesn't really go away. "Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be."
• It is rare that a person will ever give a long speech about their feelings, a lot of people struggle to even find words. But that's okay. Show the reader how your character feels instead of telling them.
• Don't pause the plot to deal with the aspect of grief. This could overwhelm the readers and drag the pace down. In reality, life doesn't just stop due to grief, the world still spins and things still need to be done. Use the character's grief as a backdrop for the story's events.
• Yes, grief affects the character's day-to-day life, goals and relationships. But it shouldn't drive readers away or stagnate the story. Instead, should engage the readers and produce empathy that keeps them turning pages.
• You don't need to tell your readers that everything will be fine. You don't need to provide the answers.

𝐜𝐫; 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐚