Through Duck's Eyes (Book 1)

Goodbye

An hour had passed and I can tell that mom is getting sicker and sicker. It's hard to look at her like this as I tried to get her as comfortable as possible. She was sitting back and leaning fully on me for support, her breathing is slow but raspy. Her eyes are closed as if she's sleeping but I couldn't tell.

I looked over on the other side of the boxcar and see Clementine. Her knees are huddled close to her chest, looking into our direction. Both Lee and Chuck are standing behind her looking outside and Ben is sitting not far from them, appearing to be having a lot on his mind.

"Got to be hard on ya, eh?" Chuck spoke to Lee. "Three adults taking care of three kids... no disrespect, son." He turned his attention to Ben, who looked pretty offended at being called a kid.

"There were more of us," Lee pointed out.

"Dead get 'em?"

"No..."

"Ah, livin' got 'em."

Mom began coughing again, more violently than before. My eyes widened when I see blood come out of her mouth and streaking across her cheek.

"LEE, COME HERE! She's coughing up blood!" I shouted in panic, as I struggled to hold her up.

He rushed over and knelt down to us. Mom's coughing died down and went back to raspy breathing.

I looked at the blood on her cheek, but quickly turned away from it. I notice a rag on the floor and faced Lee.

"Can you get that off of her face? Please?"

He silently took the rag and wiped off the blood clean. He stared at the rag for a moment and faced me.

"I don't think she's getting any better..." Lee told me.

"I know..." My eyes began watering, feeling hopeless. "W-What... what am I going to do?"

His eyes downcast and said in sorrow, "I think you need to say goodbye."

I looked at him in shock. "What? W-What do you mean?"

"We have to take care of her... so that she doesn't turn," Lee tried to explain.

"Now? But she can't... she won't!" I said in disbelief. Tears threatened to pour out as I hugged her tightly. "She's not gonna become a monster..."

"I know this hard to hear, Duck... but we have to put her out of her misery. It's the only way to make sure that she doesn't come back."

I started crying into her coat, not wanting to say anything anymore.

"I'm going to go tell your dad to stop this train," was all he said as he stood up and walked out of the boxcar.

In a couple of minutes, the brakes went on and the train slowed to a stop. I tried to lift her up but struggled. Chuck noticed this and helped carrying her to the boxcar door. He gently lowered her onto the floor and hopped out, Ben and I followed suit. Dad and Lee approached us and sadly looked at mom.

"She's bitten, in case you haven't figured that out." Dad told Chuck. The old man said nothing, but looked away sadly.

"Take as long as you need," Lee instructed.

Dad faced him, "There ain't no time left to take." He looked back at mom. "What are we gonna do?"

"We... we have to say goodbye," I repeated what Lee said to me.

"But what if... what if she doesn't?"

"Ken, you know what happens. I'm sorry, but there's no other way." Lee explained

"Isn't there some sort of pill or... something we can just give her?"

"Ken-"

"She can just drift off to sleep, right? I mean, Jesus, this is my wife."

"I know, but we know it's here," Lee pointed at his head, "or nothing."

"Well, fuck..." Dad realizing the situation came to him. "I-I'll do it... I can- I can do this," dad said to himself. He sighed and looked down at me, "We can say our goodbyes and... just let that be it."

He looked behind him, "Why don't we take her into the forest, so Clementine doesn't have to see."

I looked over to her, a deep frown on her face. Mom was basically the caregiver in our group, making sure that us kids are safe. Losing a mother-figure can be devastating, I don't want her to see it.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Give us a moment... to say goodbye?" Dad asked Lee.

"Of course."

Dad gathered her into his arms bridle style since she's so weak that she couldn't move at all. We both turned towards the forest and walked.

We made it to a clearing and dad carefully had set her against a large tree. He stepped back and pulled out his gun.

"Katjaa... my beautiful, strong wife. I love you so dearly... that it's very hard to see you pass away so soon. I loved the time when we first met, the time we've got engaged... the time we had our son." Tears started coming down his cheeks. "You were always there for me that I wished I was there for you more. I wished that I could've been a better husband, a better father. Just know, that I will always love you, rest in piece."

He wiped his eyes and urged me to have a say. I knelt down, tears freely coming down.

"Mom, I love you so much... You're the greatest mom ever. You comfort me, protect me and care for me. I hate the state that you're in right now... and to what's going to happen." I took a quick glance at the gun. "But like you always say to me, that everything is going to be okay. I hope that you're going to be okay." I held onto her hand, it already feeling cold to the touch. "I love you and I'm going to miss you... goodbye."

I stood next to dad, showing that I'm done. He slowly raised his gun, aiming it to her head. 

BANG

I flinched and closed my eyes tight from the scene I had just witnessed.

"There's going to be a lot of this going around," I heard dad say. I looked up at him, wanting to know what he meant by that.

He brought his arm over my shoulder. "That's why I need you to be strong... no more kid stuff. I wish you could have the childhood I had, but that's not gonna happen."

My eyes downcast, realizing what he's going on with this.

He continued, "There will be a day where you'll be alone. People are gonna die. I'm gonna die, Lee, Ben... people in the future that you'd care about." He had put his arm down and looked at mom. "There's no way you can ever be ready for it. I try to be, but I can't. The best we can do now is... avoid it as long as we can and keep one step ahead."

I try to compose myself, trying not to think what might happen in the near future.

He shook his head. "I wish I had something better to say. Something more... profound." Dad smiled a bit, "My father was good like that."

I looked up at him again. Dad doesn't mention much about his family, but with the little he talked about them and had never met one, I'm sure that they were great people.

"Pretty soon, you're gonna be taught how to use these," he held up his gun. "To protect yourself and to those around you." He took off his hat and placed it on my head and smiled down at me. "You're gonna beat this new world that we live in now, I'm sure of it. You're gonna be strong and you're gonna be safe... will you promise me that?"

That's hard to answer, since I don't know what is going to happen in the future. I will try my hardest though... to survive. With determination, I looked at him in the eye.

"I promise."