"Congratulations, you're the one billionth soul meaning you've won the right to reincarnate! Rejoice! Master has given you the best gift possible, you shall select the world you would like to enter. But before we start, any questions?"
"Yes, um, ho...
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It's been a week since I've been admitted to the hospital and tomorrow is the day I'll be released.
Mother and Father are angry, no that's such a calm word to describe them as. The doctor told them about the bill.
It was over $140,000.
I didn't have insurance meaning the money had to come out of their pocket, or at least it does until I turn 18, which I'm pretty sure won't happen. If by some type of miracle I do make it to age 18 then 21 will surely be the age I die.
People like me don't make it past 21.(I wrote this a while ago before Juice wrld passed, may he rest in peace.)
And by people like me, I mean the depressed, suicidal boys and girls who can't go a day without wondering how much better death would be compared to this hell they are trapped in.
Currently, the nurses are swarming around me preparing me for my release. My parents were in the corner smiling way too big to be healthy. To the nurses, they were caring parents, glad that their child was being let out of the hospital, those masks of theirs were good, but not good enough to fool me.
To me, I could see everything they were trying to hide. The fear that I felt suffocating me. I was glad they didn't have me hooked up to the heart monitor anymore because it would surely be beeping non stop if it was.
"Are you ready to go home?" A cheery nurse dressed in pure white scrubs asked me, her calm blue eyes meeting my own.
Swallowing, I looked at my parents out of the corner of my eye before forcing a plastic smile to grace my face. Ignoring the sting I felt due to my busted lip, I responded just as cheery, "Yup!" After all, what else would I say?
I was a coward, too afraid to pull away from the thorny ropes my parents had wrapped around me. I wish I had the bravery of those kids who spoke out, maybe then I wouldn't be sitting here counting down the seconds until my last breath.
I couldn't help but wonder, what would life be like if I still had my brother?
Would the mother and father still hate me?
Would my mother still yell harsh words at me while father threw empty glass bottles at my head?
Or would they be as they were before?
Gentle, loving and kind.
Would mother still smile so brightly and pat my head whenever I got the highest score in class?
Would father still pick me up, place me on his shoulders and run around while everyone laughed?
Would we be happy?
Or was this broken home meant to come into existence even if my elder brother was alive?
It's now nighttime and I once more was left alone with my thoughts.
There was no longer an IV poking me painfully in the arm, nor was there the annoying beeps from the heart monitor.
Glaring down at my right leg that was placed in a cast, I chewed on my bottom lip.
I couldn't run and hide with this leg.
The feeling of despair was creeping up my body and sinking its claws into my throat making is once again hard to breathe.
They're gonna kill me.
If I'm not alive to wear them down then they can run off debt-free.
They'll leave my body to rot in that house, not thinking twice about me.
My thoughts kept building up, higher and higher like a cage, a prison meant to keep me at bay and my will to live got smaller and smaller with each layer.
I couldn't see.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't feel or hear anything but the icy cold pricks of fear due to the freezing river of thoughts that were drowning me in my head.
I don't know how or when but the next time I was able to see or feel anything I was standing on the hospital rooftop.
It was cold but I felt too numb to shiver.
The sad pale green gown the hospital had me in was blowing with the winter breeze.
Maybe if I end it'll be okay.
The crutches that were in my hands fell over the hedge, I watched emotionless as they collided with the cement in the alley next to the building. I waited a few minutes but no one seemed to hear.
Seeing this I smiled, if I were to jump my body wouldn't be found immediately, meaning even if I do somehow survive the jump Id surely bleed out before someone could help.
Wobbling closer to the edge, I saw my vision blur.
Clicking my tongue, I roughly wiped away my tears.
For a brief second, I felt regret. But it quickly passed with a shake of my head.
Stop being selfish, this would be better for everyone. Everyone will be happy, including you.
That voice, the bittersweet voice of my inner demons whispered in my ear. Encouraging me to jump.
Come on, don't you want to see your brother again?
Those were the words that did it, those 10 words were all that was needed for every doubt I had to be erased.
If I die, we will be reunited.
Was the thought I had before leaning forward.
As I was falling through the air I couldn't remember I was hesitating. Falling towards my death didn't scare me, in fact, I felt eerily calm and happy.
Opening my eyes, I saw I had turned mid-air. And I was glad I did, the stars seemed to shine brighter than ever, the moon was full and hypnotizing. But those weren't what caught my eye, it was the silhouette of a man on top of the building I just jumped off.
His eyes seemed to glow a silvery grey as he watched me fall.
I must have been seeing things within my last moments of death, because I swear the man grew a large pair of pure white wings, bright enough that even at midnight you could see them clearly.
Smiling at the man, I close my eyes before opening them once more only to see he was gone, and at that moment upon hitting the ground, I was too.
