Female Celebrity Imagines | (Girl x Girl)

I Don't Want To Love You - Talex (USWNT)

Tobin Heath (left) + Alex Morgan (right)

Tobin Heath and Alex Morgan are my two best friends. We've been inseparable since birth. Pretty awesome right? Yes, except there's just one little problem...

I like both of them.

And by "like", I mean I'm madly in love with them. I get what you're thinking, how could I like two girls at once, that's insane. And I thought that at first too. But, somehow I feel exactly the same for both of them. I've spent 20 long years with them and I have never liked one more than the other. They both make me crazy. Every time they look at me or touch me, I get that cliche feeling of butterflies in my stomach. And it has never gone away.

I hate that I love them. They're my best friends. I shouldn't think of them in that way, that's just creepy. But, no matter how hard I try, I can't get rid of the feeling. Also, there's no way I would ever even consider the possibility of admitting my feelings to either of them. First off, which one would I even tell? There's no way I could choose. Second, I guarantee you neither of them feel the same. And, if I did tell them, where would that leave our lifelong friendship? They'd probably just be weirded out by the fact that I'm basically obsessed with them and leave me. I definitely couldn't handle that. So, here I am, keeping the biggest secret of my life, painfully admiring my two best friends from a distance, knowing I'll never have a chance.

"Hey Y/NN, whatcha thinkin' about?" Tobin asked obliviously, walking to the left of me as we head back to our apartment. Alex was on my right. I always seemed to be in the middle. I certainly wasn't complaining though.

"Nothing." Just how desperately in love I am with you and Alex and how I'm gonna die sad and alone. That's all. A normal day for me, really.

"She's lying, isn't she?" Tobin said to Alex, like I wasn't standing right in between them.

"Totally." Alex replied while studying my face. I hated it when she did that. I felt like she could see right through me. I mean, really, I am the worst person in the world at hiding my feelings, I would be surprised if they didn't already know I liked both of them. "What's up?" Alex questioned me with a concerned look, but I just looked at the ground.

We made it to our apartment and Alex stopped to get her key out of her backpack, giving Tobin time to interrogate me. "Hey..." she tried to get my attention as we stood in front of the door. "What's wrong?" She put her finger under my chin and made me look up into her eyes. Damn those cute, innocent eyes that always seemed to make me melt. "You know you can talk to us about anything, right?" She rubbed her thumb across my cheek and I found it hard to breath, let alone answer her question.

I ended up simply nodding my head in response. What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, I'm in love with you and Alex and I have been since the fifth grade.' Yeah, that would be smart...

I decided to wrap my arms around her torso and pull her into a hug. She placed hers around my neck and I laid my head on her shoulder. I could stay in her arms for the rest of my life and be happy. It just felt so perfect, the feeling of her body against mine. Her warmth and comfort surrounding me. Yet, she had no idea I felt that way.

"I'm just tired, Toby." I mumbled weakly into her neck. She had no clue what I meant by that and it made everything so much more painful. I wasn't the type of tired that could easily be fixed by a good night's sleep. No, I was mentally tired and that would take years to get over.

I was tired of keeping a fake smile on my face every day and pretending that I was okay. I was tired of lying and hiding my feelings from the two most important people in my life. I was tired of loving and not receiving. Secrets were exhausting and ten years was a long time to keep one. Especially when it broke my heart a little bit more every time I lied about it.

"I know, baby. But, it's the weekend now. You can rest." She said and kissed the top of my head. Once, just once, I wanted her to push it and get a straight answer out of me. I wanted her to realize how much pain I was really in and finally get me to admit everything to her.

Because, I wanted to tell her and Alex, I really did. But, I was too much of a coward. I knew I wouldn't unless I had too. And that is what made me so depressed. There was always something in the back of my mind telling me that everything would go wrong if I gave in and let it slip. So I never did.

"Okay." I said simply and Alex grabbed my hand, leading me inside the apartment. I honestly didn't understand how my body had the will to move on and push my feelings to the back of my mind, but somehow it did. So, there I was, numb and emotionless.

"Come here." Alex laid me in bed and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into her. I placed mine around her waist and laid my head in the crook of her neck. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, which made me blush, and laid her head on top of mine.

"I wanna cuddle." I heard Tobin say lightly and I felt her lay down in the bed behind me. Soon enough she placed her arms around my waist from behind and laid her head on my neck, resting her chin on my shoulder.

There, secure in their arms, I felt like I just might be okay. They made me forget all of my problems and worries in life. It was truly the best feeling in the world, laying with the two girls I loved. Yet, in the back of my mind, that nagging thought of never being with either of them as more than a friend always persisted.

"I love you, both of you." I told them, those words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth knowing they will never understand how true they really are.

"I love you too." They both replied and I nearly believed them. But, then that voice in my head appeared and told me that someone like me could never be loved by the two most incredible girls in the world. And I fell asleep believing it.

-

Sorry this is super depressing (I actually almost cried writing it). I was going to finish and give it a happy ending but I was too tired. So, there's your lesson: not every story has a happy ending (especially if the writer is lazy).

Is there anyone you want me to make an imagine about?