black coffee | soonhoon

Thirty Seven

For some reason
Sometimes, Suddenly
I keep thinking about these days

How happy I am, how beautiful you are
About us, we are second to none

If we ever become unhappy some day
If we grow apart
What do I do?
But of course, that won't happen

I don't even want to think about this
But sometimes I do
I hope you don't

I can smile because we're together
I can cry because it's you
So what can't I do?
Whenever, Wherever
Even if we're not together, just like always
Our smile flowers bloom

"Jihoon?"

Through his headphones, Jihoon hears his name being called. His mother's voice gets quieter as he stops focusing on her song and looks at Wonwoo. The doctor slides through the door nearly held shut with equipment and starts checking up on Soonyoung, still lying still on the bed.

"How are you holding up?" Wonwoo asks.

Jihoon shrugs, "I don't know. I'm worried about him," he says, keeping his eyes fixed on the sleeping boy.

The brunette smiles, "He'll be alright."

The night that Soonyoung had been hit is a blur to Jihoon. All he can recall is the sirens and arms pulling him up. Later, he remembers Wonwoo sitting across from him. Vaguely he hears him talk about the broken bones and internal bleeding and yet the same lime over and over and over again. He'll be alright.

How could they know that for sure? It's exactly what the doctors told him when his father was in hospital, days after his mother had already-

"Jihoon? You with me?"

His head pounds. Wonwoo looks at him worriedly.

"I'm fine," he tries to force himself to look the part.

Nodding, the doctors walks back to the door, "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Come to my office if you need to talk, ok?" he gently puts his hand on the smaller's shoulder. Jihoon nods.

As soon as the door closes behind him, Jihoon shuffles his chair over to sit right next to Soonyoung. His face is relaxed in sleep, and his body would look peaceful if it weren't for the numerous tubes and the IV drip strung up around him. Still, his hair fans out around his head like a halo and the sunlight makes his skin glow. Jihoon stares at him, entranced, until he feels tears prickle at the corner of his eyes.

"Please come back Soonyoung," he whispers, "I don't wanna lose you too."

"I'm sorry for what I said. Whether you meant it or not I don't care because I care about you too much. And whether you like it or not if you wake up... when you wake up.... I'm gonna stay with you. You push me away all you want Kwon Soonyoung... I don't give a fuck. Losing you as well would kill me... even if we go back to hating each other, I'd rather that than never see you again. Please can you come back?" Jihoon talks in a quiet voice as tears roll down his cheeks.

"Can you do it for me? If not for me, then for everyone else? I don't think the sun could shine as bright as it does without you in it.... I know they say you're fine, but doctors lie sometimes."

He closes his small hand over Soonyoung's slightly larger one, feeling the coldness of his skin and trying to warm it up. He notices the woven bracelets wrapped around his wrist: one is just a plain brown leather cuff, another is a plaited bracelet and the last has a charm dangling from the cord.

It's the tiniest picture, encased in a gold frame with a singular miniature heart engraved on the bottom.

The picture shows Soonyoung taking a selfie in his kitchen, with three people in the background. Nayoung is eating cereal and glaring at the back of her brothers head but if you look closely you can see the underlying love she has for him, even if she never shows it. The second person is a slightly older woman, whom Jihoon presumes is Soonyoung's mother.

She's sitting up straight, with a business suit on and her hair pulled back, but her smile is bright and cheerful as she looks at the last person.

Obviously Mr. Kwon, he is joking around in the background and facing Mrs. Kwon, trying to make her laugh. By the grin on her face, he succeeded.

In the foreground, Soonyoung is beaming so widely his eyes form crescents and his cheeks have dusted rosy pink. His hair is still its natural colour and he looks a couple of years younger. His green top is creased and stretched and the necklace around his neck is crooked.

But they look so happy as a family that Jihoon yet again feels tears spring to his eyes. He pushes them back and stands up abruptly.

But he can't leave yet. He looks at Soonyoung sadly before slowly pulling the blanket up to his chin and and adjusting his pillow. Silently, Jihoon mouths goodbye even though the older can't see him, opens the door and softly shuts it behind him.

Merry Christmas !!