Missing Her.

Chapter 1.

I smiled at the blonde who was practically hanging off my arm, though I didn't feel anything. I actually just wanted to escape from her. From here. It's already been a year since, but I couldn't wait till these last couple months went by, It was all just too much.

I've tried distracting myself, I've tried dating and throwing myself into my work. The girls only took my mind off of it for a minute before they would lose my interest. I tried not caring any more about school, but it all just came too easily to me, and it proved to be somewhat of a distraction, just not a very good one, I was even in the advanced classes.

  

Nothing seemed to be able to fill the void that my best friend had left. It didn't even matter that we only knew each other for a year, she made that big of impact in my life. I sighed and looked back down to the blonde, needing to clear my head once more. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't ugly. Heck, she was gorgeous actually. 

She had blue eye's and a pale complexion that actually went really well together on her, she had very long legs and she was the head cheerleader. And hey, she was even loaded. But none of that mattered. She was everything she was not, it's exactly what I was going for, and it's definitely part of the problem. I'm trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

As I looked down at her, I could only see the long list of everything I was trying to get over, everything I was trying to run away from. But I needed the distraction, and that's the only reason I stayed.

The bell rang, and before I could walk off to class, the blond who was a minute ago talking animatedly to her friends and clinging onto my arm at the same time, turned me around to face her. I wasn't really caught off guard because she's done this before, but it was getting more and more annoying each time.

  

It's because it's not Her. A voice whispered in the back of my head, which I tried to slam the door on.

When the Blond's lips landed on mine, I was brought back out of my head, though I didn't react. It wasn't because I was forcing myself not to, it's because whatever was helping this be a distraction earlier, was now gone.

  

"I'll see you at lunch, kay?" She said with a giddy voice after she finally pulled away. I gave a swift nod but no other reaction before she practically skipped away to her next class.

I wanted to skip. I've skipped more times than I can count since the accident, but there was usually no point as I would just go home. I didn't ever want to go get ice cream any more, nor did I go to the park. Those were places, just like this school, that reminded me of my best friend, and I couldn't deal with it.

As I finally walked into the classroom, I made my way to the very back seat as usual. People glared at me, people ignored me, some even ogled at me, but I ignored every single one of them. I was used to each reaction. I sighed and plopped down into my chair, getting relaxed for class because I knew this was an easy one. AP chemistry.

Most people say it's hard, but really there is not much more to it, just a few more projects required. I've taken Ap in the other subjects as well, getting a 5 point grade in most, with the occasional 4 point. Having tried to throw myself in my work, this was the result, and I actually get to graduate before christmas instead of waiting with everyone else. I've talked on several different occasions with the principle (something that everyone else thinks were talks about my "behavior") and he finally agreed that I didn't have to do any ceremony crap. He even keeps my grades under wraps because I don't want any more attention on me than what I already get form my distractions.