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It was four thirty in the morning. Four FUCKING thirty in the morning and you had not slept a wink. Why? Because a certain shinobi had the spawn of Satan lodged in his sinuses.
You took the pillow off of your face and glared at the man laying next to you, who seemed to be blowing his nose for the 12761824617th time that night, before rolling angrily out of bed.
"B-babe," Kakashi asked in between sneezes, "where are you going?"
"To sleep on the couch." you said, trudging grumpily out of the bedroom.
You plopped down on the plush couch and pulled the fleece blanket over your shoulders, forcing your eyes shut in an attempt to get as much rest as possible before your run with Kurenai at 6:00.
Ever since Kakashi came back from his mission three weeks ago, he had been sick. Now I know what you must be thinking, how did the Kakashi Hatake manage to come down with a measly case of the flu? Doesn't he have amazing health from his constant training and strict diet? WELL THAT'S WHAT HE THOUGHT TOO. But if you take the one and only Might Guy, dare him to skinny dip in the lake... during the winter... WHILE IT WAS SNOWING before his mission, then add his constant, uncovered sneezes into the mix while he shared a room with Kakashi, there's no escaping his youthfulpathogens.
Initially, the cold was very "genin-level" and comprised of the occasional dry cough and randomized sneeze. However, it soon rose in the ranks, turning the innocent cough into a violent hack and the subtle sneeze into an explosive ACH-ASDFASDFA.
So naturally, like any good girlfriend would, you decided to go to the pharmacy to get him a variety of medicines to improve his condition. But what were you met with? A wave of testosterone.
"i'M tHe kAkaShI hAtAke!" he said.
"I hAvE dEfeatEd aRmIes oF ShiNobI! i'M sUrE i cAn oVeRComE a LiTtLe VirUs" he said, shoving the medicine in the furthest corner of the cabinet.
KAKASHI HATAKE MY ASS.
Since then, he had gotten progressively worse but still refused to take his goddamn medicine, believing strongly in the fact that he could fight off the cold using his inflated sense of manliness. Headass.
"I swear, if he makes one more sound I will-"
"Babe?"
"FUCKING HELL KAKASHI WHAT?!"
You stormed back into the bedroom, glaring daggers at the clump of silver hair that peeked nervously out from under the blanket, "w-we ran out of tissues."
You rolled your eyes and walked over to the cabinet, viciously throwing it open only to realize it was completely empty... except for a certain orange bottle of pills.
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"No."
"You have two options: you either take it on your own like a good boy or I jam the entire bottle down your throat. The choice is yours."
"But I don't need the medicine! I'm feeling better already!"
"Ok, let me rephrase. Either you take the medicine, or I take this shiny, newly sharpened kunai and cut off your di-"
"OKOK I'LL TAKE IT!" he said, snatching the pill off of the plate.
"FINALLY!" You exclaimed, doing an exaggerated fist bump in the air as he swallowed it.
"But I'm not doing it because I need it, but because I love you."
You could feel your brain cells committing mass suicide.
"Well, whatever the case is, all I care about is that I can finally sleep in peace for the first time in thr- ACHOO!"
You froze. A psychotic twitch possessed your eye as Kakashi quickly snatched the kunai off the bedside table.
Aha ha ha. He thought. I'm so fucked.
[ W C : 6 1 8 ] I miraculously found this in my drafts and decided to toss it in here because it's been a HOT MINUTE since I've been active on this platform and the og hot white haired sensei (sorry gojo) was feeling a bit neglected to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
