An Ally

Chapter 25

The days following Harry’s kidnapping were tense all around. Tom refused to leave their bedroom and Harry was only too happy to remain by his side.

“Tom? What do you want to do...with the ministry I mean. I’m sure at some point they’ll be okay without your constant supervision. What then?” Tom cocked his head while he thought. It was something that often bothered him in the late hours of the night as Harry slept. He wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to do once the ministry could run on its own again. He had thought about having a family of his own once, many years before he lost his mind with power, but things had changed. 

He had changed. 

Now he had Harry. And although he may have wanted that before, he wanted to remain with Harry more. And although he was mature for his age, he was still ever so young. The last thing he wanted to do was to scare him away with commitment and yet more responsibility.

“Tom?” He jerked himself out of his own thoughts and held Harry closer to him.

“I’ve given it a lot of thought, but I just end up running around in circles. All I really know for sure is that I wish to remain with you.” Harry’s cheeks flushed.

“Well I’m not going anywhere. What do you keep running around in circles with?” Deciding to tell the truth and to be blunt, he took a deep breath to settle his nerves.

“Well for starters, you and I will age differently Harry. I’ve got a horcrux which means I’ll essentially remain this age forever. You, on the other hand, will age slower than the average person but you will still age. While muggles live to be seventy to a hundred, wizards and witches usually live to be a hundred and fifty to two hundred. It’s plausible to assume that you’ll live longer than that, simply because you have a piece of someone else’s soul in you.”

“Why would that be a bad thing? I’ve had to accept that my friends and family will die in front of me during battle which, thankfully, hasn’t really happened to the degree I thought it would. So that’s a nonissue for me.”

“It would affect your wants and needs. Having longer to live means you can have as many children as you wish for much longer; but you’ll likely have to watch them pass as well. And you may not have even considered having a family that way. You might want to do something that doesn’t involve a family, but most jobs would have you available to the press.” Harry shuddered in distaste.

“I didn’t really want to do anything that could involve the press. Dad mentioned he wanted to start a mail-in apothecary a long time ago but he didn’t have the means to and now he’s teaching. Maybe one day I can help him with that. He really does love to talk about potions and once he explains why things happen, it makes a lot more sense. 

“I never really thought about a family...honestly I didn’t think I’d ever get over my aversion to physical affection. Thanks for that, by the way. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be cowering in the corner around other people. But I do know that if I have a family I’d want it to be with you. If...well, if you’ll have me that is…”

Affronted, Tom lifted Harry’s face up. “Why would I ever want you to leave? I’ll always want you right here, by my side. If it’s where you wish to be, then it is where you belong. I once laughed at the idea of love, but now I couldn’t imagine my life without it. And a life without you is a life without love.”

Harry curled up closer to him, resting his head on Tom’s chest. Instinctively, Tom’s arms wrapped around him closer to hold him. His companion had just fallen asleep when a gentle knock came from the door.

“Who is it?” Tom tried to keep his voice soft and gentle so as to not wake Harry. An equally soft voice informed him it was Severus. “Come in then.”

Severus’s face was lined with worry until he saw the teen curled up in Tom’s lap, sound asleep.

“How has he been? I’ve been worried.” Severus sat down in the offered chair and made himself a cup of tea from the platter.

“He’s handled things well. Disappointed in the chit, but he’s been pretty stable all things considered. He did have a nightmare last night, but he calmed down relatively quickly once I held him.” The silence that followed was a calm one, filled with relief.

“Do you mind me asking you a question?”

“Of course Severus. No need to ask. You’ve earned every right to question me.” Surprise flitted across his face before disappearing once more.

“Have you given any thought to your future with him? I can’t bear the thought of trusting him to someone else just to have his heart and soul crushed once more. I saw the love he holds for you when he made you your Christmas gift. I just need to know that you are willing to return that love to him and to treat him with the amount of respect he deserves. I recognize the implications when you gave him your eyes, but I need to know that he will be taken care of for the rest of his life if he were to remain with you. I love him deeply, I have since I learned of Lily’s pregnancy with him. I regret not being able to spend more time with him, and how I was forced to treat him for quite some time...I just need to know that he will be loved by you as purely as he loves you.”

Tom gazed down at Harry as Severus’s words washed over him. Of course he could imagine spending the rest of time with Harry, but he didn’t understand how Harry could want to return the sentiment. Surely Harry couldn’t love him the way Severus was implying. After all, who truly could? Tom had done horrible things in the past, things that should never be forgiven. And yet, here they were. Harry had forgiven him of the things he had done, the crimes he had committed. And he had not only forgiven him, he had offered him his heart, mind and body as well. 

Ignoring the prickling in his eyes and the blurriness in his vision, he brushed an errant lock of hair from Harry’s face. 

“I can’t imagine a world without him Severus. He is my world now.” The tears finally dropped and slid down his face as the depth of emotion he felt for harry overcame him.

“Then I must make a request of you, my friend. I expect you to wait until he is twenty before you come to ask me for his hand. He’ll need time to settle into adulthood properly and to learn how to do things he’s never had a chance to learn.” Tom’s eyes widened. “Oh come now. I see the way you look at him when you think no one is watching. You’ve fallen in love with him, I can see it just as plainly as I can see that the sky is blue. All I ask is that you wait until then.” He nodded.

“I never expected I’d even care for anyone let alone that. I haven’t even considered that as an option…” Severus waved his hand and sipped his tea.

“You would have come to that option eventually. I simply wanted to make my wishes known before that happened. I’ll take my leave. But Tom, please remember that he is still young and inexperienced. I have no doubt that he loves you as much as you love him, but if he should wish to branch out…”

Pain stabbed Tom in the chest as the implication hit him.

“If he should wish to leave or experiment or branch out, I will not stop him. He deserves a chance to learn who he is should he feel he needs to search for the answers without me.” 

“I don’t think that will happen, but I needed to know if you cared for him enough to let him go should he desire it. Good night Tom. I think it’s time I take my leave.”