new perspective

iii. WHEN BEING OKAY WAS NORMAL

chapter three,

when being okay was normal.

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[unedited] 3.

i don't know who i saw looking at me through the mirror. the reflection of myself didn't feel right. it was ajar.

i turned my body sideways, taking in my side preview. i rarely left the house, so i didn't know how to dress correctly for these occasions. i wore some jeans that i found buried deep in my drawers and a brown colored flannel with buttons placed down the middle. it didn't compliment any of me, but i felt comfortable and i'm pretty sure my mom would approve of it. not that i would change if she asked me to. i wear what i want. not what she wants.

i think of changing, because in an outsiders view, i do look like i could be someones dad. maybe that was cool now. in style. dad clothing. oh, how much of a joke i was.

i grabbed my phone off of the night table and shoved it into the pockets of my jeans, stepping into my washroom and spraying some cologne i found at a thrift shop down town. it smelled manly. it was as man enough as i got.

taking my phone out of my pocket, i notice that it was indeed five to nine, and that my mom wasn't actually annoying me this time. i never really meant that, "i'm coming!" i yelled at her five minutes ago. 

running down the stairs, i see that she had already made her way to the neighbors house. great. now i'm gonna look like an idiot, walking in alone. groaning, i slipped on my old shoes from grade school that surprisingly still fit and made my way over. 

not glancing both ways, i take my chance walking across the street. silently hoping for a car to fly right down the street. it would do me justice, for sure.

i knocked on the door, gently. no music was turned on (thank god), but i didn't know how long that would stay true.

darryl opened the door, a smile finding his lips instantly. "zak! hey!" he welcomed, "come in, come in." and i do. his house smelt of candle wax and comfort, way different than mine. it had a homey feel and was nice to be in. i decided i would love his house.

a barking noise breaks me out of my complementary state and i suddenly take notice of the ball of fur standing on my shoe. the dog was small, circling my body with their barks. darryl seemed embarrassed, "i'm sorry about that— let me just.. lucy! please!" he exclaimed, trying to grab the dog. lucy declined her fathers request, staying near me.

i bend down to pick her up, and surprisingly, she lets me. i wrapped my arms around the small, white colored dog and start running my hand down her back. lucy likes that, i can tell. 

"you did that .. awfully easy. do you have a dog yourself?" he asked me. i shook my head, "never really wanted one." and that was the biggest lie i had ever told somebody, because all i've ever wanted was a dog. 

"that sucks." he said, "i love dogs. i hope you're not allergic. damn, i'm a mess."

"i'm not, don't worry." my words seemed to calm him. i guess i had that effect. "good. well. lucy likes you more than she likes me." he claimed with a pout. i shake my head and hold the dog closer, "she's just trying to get you jealous, trust me."

"oh, she is." he replied, playfully. okay. maybe i liked him. only a little. not a lot. not friends level. 

i placed the dog down again, and she looked happy with our little encounter. she ran off into the kitchen. i tear the shoe off of my foot and darryl leads me into his living room.