S
"New Jersey police warn citizens located in Newark of two male suspects following an armed robbery on Saturday.
The Newark Police Station has given report of two suspects that fled a local residence with stolen property and a stolen vehicle. Shortly after, police found the stolen car abandoned and clean in a local Walmart parking lot.
The stolen vehicle was recovered after search's were executed.
If anyone has any information about this robbery or the potential suspects, please contact the Newark Police Department at (973) 733-6000 or you can contact our TIPS line at 1-877-NWK-TIPS, all calls are kept confidential."
My heart dropped, I looked over at Ethan and he laughed.
"Not every robbery or murdering in New Jersey was executed by me Shelbs, I don't know why you're always afraid that i'm involved in criminal activity again..."
I looked down at the remote and turned off the TV.
Lately things have been different, they always have been, but this past month was the worst.
We both cut contact with Grayson and I felt upset that Ally would grow up without an uncle like Grayson in her life.
She had been asking about him recently, Ethan and I kept our stories short.
We told her that Grayson needed time by himself because he was going through a lot with his job at the moment.
That wasn't the case, and eventually I knew Ally would find out what I did and how I ruined things for us all, but hopefully that day would never pass.
I was interrupted out of my thoughts when I heard the fireworks from outside our condo. At first, they sounded familiar, not in a happy childish way, but in a way that yet again all I was drawn too was the image of Ethan holding a gun.
I hated that the love of my life has a troubled past, not just because of his trauma but for my own worries.
I worried everyday about Ally hanging out with her friends without me there to keep an eye on her, and someone from Kennedy taking her.
Today was the fourth of July, Ethan's first fourth of July since he was released. Ally wanted to watch the fireworks with her friends and I was very hesitant.
Without Ethan I would one hundred percent be a helicopter parent, worse then I am now, but the only thing I hated more than thinking about my daughter being micromanaged by her mother, like I was with mine- was Ally becoming like her father.
"Do you want me to go get her from her friends? It's clearly bothering you babe" he spoke softly and I shook my head.
I wasn't going to let either of my worst nightmares become reality. I was not going to be that mom who made their kid miss out because of their own paranoia and somehow I would never let Ally mess up her life like Ethan and I did to our own.
"No, it's okay. I'm sorry for being paranoid and anxious, I just don't want anything bad to happen to our baby." I spoke while I rested my head on Ethan's shoulder.
"You and I just need to find that balance in our parenting. I love you, always remember that" And in that moment, I knew we would be okay. I knew that this entire time Ethan and I were together I tried to make him seem like the bad guy, but it was both of us.
We weren't good people away from each other- unbalanced as one would say. But when Ethan and I were in a relationship and living together, we balanced each other out. We were both each others drug of choice and without each other we tried to fill the void with distractions.
Ethan wasn't a criminal in my eyes, he was a loving and compassionate dad and future husband. I couldn't see myself with any one else. I always believed that Ethan and I were toxic for each other, but we were the opposite.
I knew that our family would turn out just fine, and I was excited to live the rest of my life with Ethan and watch our daughter and possibly future children grow up.
I looked over at the love of my life and smiled.
"I love you Ethan. I truly do mean it. I love you in a place where there's no time. My love is everlasting, ever growing, and ever present. My love for you has no boundaries. I was drawn to you and your soul in a way I can't explain. It was like I just knew, here he is. This is it. He is it. You'll never know how much you mean to me" I started to cry and he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.
We locked eyes and he smiled and kissed me passionately.
"Thank god you entered my life. My spirit guide sure did give me good guidance" He spoke in between our kiss with a smirk placed on his soft plump lips.
Finally, we got to end our long chapter of worry and heartbreak. But the book we were writing wasn't done being written - But it became just for our eyes to see.
