𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 // 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 [𝟏]

Chapter 22

I'm a terrible person.  An absolutely horrible person.

Here's why:

1. I've screwed up James and Evans relationship.

2. My parents are mad at me, and disappointed.

3. Nearly the whole school thinks I'm a predujiced prick, and a Death Eater.

4. Those who don't, well they are probably upset with me anyway.

It's been a week since school started and I've been avoiding everyone. I really need to stop though but I just can't. That's what infuriates me most about it. I want to stop but I physically can't.

James is still trying to get Evans to forgive him. She's ignoring him. I'm pretty certain he hates me. I mean, who doesn't?

Narcissa has noticed something is up. So have Lucius, Regulus, and Severus. I don't want to burden them with my problems. I know they're my best friends but involving them risks their lives. If they find out I'm associating with bloodtraitors and muggleborns they could risk being killed if the information spreads.

Narcissa already knows I don't agree with their methods, but she's trained in Occulmency. Lucius knows I don't want the Dark Mark. Regulus and Severus probably assume I don't want anything to do with this. I'm really grateful they don't ask.

Perks of being a Slytherin. Your friends know when to step in and when not to.

I was sitting in the astronomy tower when I heard footsteps coming up the staircase.

I tensed, hoping it wasn't a teacher. Or worse, Filch.

Fortunately it wasn't, it was Regulus.

"Hey Liv." He said as he sat down next to me. He took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one. He offered me one as well and I took one.

"Hey Reggie." I sighed. I watched as the smoke from my cigarette blew away in the slight breeze.

"What's wrong? And don't bullshit me, I know when somethings bothering you." Regulus said. He was looking out at the stars. He's always admired Astronomy.

I was silent for a while. "I don't want the Dark Mark." I whispered, my voice cracking as I did.

Regulus nodded. He sighed before turning to me. He pulled up his sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark. I gasped before grabbing his arm and tracing it with my finger.

"Reggie..." I trailed off. "Why?" He was too innocent for this. He can't be apart of this.

"I had to. My parents made me." His voice broke. He had tears in his eyes and I could see the fear across his face. How could they? He's so young. We're all too young for this.

"You could've left." I mumbled. I knew he wouldn't though.

"We both too cowardly for that and you know it."

I hummed. I pulled Regulus into a hug and we sat there for hours in each other's embrace.

We were both fucked up and neither of our siblings could help us.

DADA the next day was as torturous as you could expect. We were doing theory on the Patronus Charm. We would be doing it later on in the year. The patronus charm is advanced magic. I practiced it in my free time so I knew exactly how to do it. My patronus is a red fox. Sly and cunning. Like a Slytherin.

I've always hated DADA. I knew enough about Dark Magic and counter-curses alike. I knew how to defend myself and how to properly duel. I didn't need Defense, but my parents forced me to take it. They told me dueling is important for a future death eater. As if.

I noticed that James sat alone, Evans moved to another table. Narcissa left me for the day to sit with Lucius. I swear she's more his best friend than mine at this point.

I moved to James' desk. I stopped in front of him causing him to look up. He eyebrows furrowed before making a gesture with his hand, a silent question.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked with a smile.

James nodded, "Sure. Too lonely now that your best friend prefers your brothers company?" He grinned cheekily.

I scoffed. "As if I would join you because I was lonely." I turned around but when he called me back I grinned evilly. I sat down next to him and started making a half-hearted attempt at notes. I knew this anyway.

James wasn't doing much either so I decided to talk to him. I really wanted to apologise properly.

"James?" I questioned nervously. I bite my lower lip and played with my hands to calm my nerves.

"Yeah?" He turned to face me.

Okay where do I start? Come on I'm supposed to be good at this. I'm never this nervous when it comes to talking.

"I just wanted to apologise." I said at last. My gaze dropped to the floor.

"What for?" This confused me. I looked up quickly and stared into his honey eyes. He's eyebrows were furrowed and he looked genuinely confused.

"For ruining your relationship. I shouldn't have let you kiss me. It was a mistake on my part. I truly am sorry." I spoke clearly though I was shaking from nerves on the inside.

James smiled. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault at all." He may have been smiling but he's eyes said it all. They were sad, pained even. He may have said it wasn't my fault but he was still very hurt.

"I'm sorry." I whispered again. If my mother saw me now she would definitely beat me. A strong independent lady never apologises for such things like this. I would've never apologised if I didn't care as much as I do. James has become such a good friend and I couldn't bare to lose him.

"You're forgiven. If that's the answer you wanted." He grinned, his trademark feature. He could always be seen with a grin on his face, the only times it wasn't was during Quidditch where he had a look of determination on his face instead. Or pure unadulterated anger when he lost or at Quidditch practice, shouting at the slightest of mistakes.

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Another chapter done and dusted. 3k reads!! I'm so happy! Thank you all who read this! It means so much to me. ^^

Schools about to start soon but I'm going to try to update as much as possible. Love you all!! <3

– mysticpanda xx