Feelings behind life.. [ON HOLD]

chapter 3

The next day i go to the forest again, but this time very  far from the the place where the wolf died. Today there is nothng else to do, so i hunt very well. Then i exchange the plants and animals with some necessary things, a little money, other foods and etc. Despite here people do not like me, working with me is useful for them. 

I have no friend. I do not like being with people and talking to them. What cn i talk about? i am always drowning in my memories, i am too busy with missing my family and childhood. If i talk, i will disturb the people or swear at Panem. And if  anyone tells it peacekeepers, i do not even  want  gonna happen, so  I had better shut up.

Reaping day is coming. no one is garanteed not to take part in the games. Despite it is not typical for district.12, i prepare for the games. I am the only girl who takes part in sport competitions at school. i train throwing arrows and knives in the forest. by the way the forest is the only place where i feel okay. Green grass, shining sun, animals,  river... Pure nature has got a sigh of neither policy nor the games..  I relax here, far from peacekeeprs, people and all problems. the forest smells like freedom... 

i try to train weight lifting, but i cannot say that i am good at it . At home i do some exercise to get my muscles stronger. my mother was a doctor, i look through her books about plants, medicines and etc. who knows what is expecting the tributes in arena? All these were the reasons why i could not hunt well in last days. Because i was training much more.. Reaping is near.. The people in district.1, district.2 and district.4 prepare for the games constantly. They are wild. They think that taking part in the games is honour. Of course, i cannot train as well as them. They have all the things  to train, plus, they do not know what hunger is.. But anyway, i do my best, and it is better than doing nothing.

I go home and lay on the bed. It do not take much to fall asleep, cause i am so tired, especially in last 2 days. Whem i wake up, it is afternoon. I get the table ready quickly, it is quite good. But Prim does not oay attention so much. And I suddenly realize  its reason. She knows that tomorrow is Reaping day. As the weather gets darker, this thought covers the body with fear. But her name is written just for one time...

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Prim's POV

Katniss has hunted so well today, table is great (for us), but I do not feel hungry, i do not feel anything now, exceptin fear. Katniss and me.. We are each- other's everything : friend, mother, sister. 2 little girls trying hold the life on together. Katniss thinks that  i worry about myself, but she is wrong. I worry about her, but i do not tell it her. Her name is written for 20 times!! Katniss is a  strong girl, life conditions has made her though. But her soul is dedicate, her heart is in pieces, no one can know her like i do. If she is chosen, she will try to win for me. But can she be a murderer? Can she kill anyone? ... And my name is written for just 1 time. I think it is not a big expectation, but what if i am chosen? She always tries to protect me. I am afraid that maybe she may want to try it on Reaping day too... I  mean, she cannot be volunteer for me, can she?.... Whatever, i wish neither of these situation gonna come true.

The next day, we wake up early. After having breakfast, both of us take bath and wear clean, tiny dresses.

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Katniss's POV

We prepare for Reaping as it is a holiday. We take bath, wear our best clothes.. They could not a better way to make people insult. The holiday which 23 people die!!! Feasts, ridiculous clothes, stupid game fans... I try to hide how much i am angry and anxious. Prim is afraid more than i am. But it is the point where all words lose their meanings.What can i say to make her feel better? What kind of lie?.. 

There is not anyone in the streets... Death silence.. Some are in mourning of their dead sons and daughters, some prepare, so,e have already accpeted that there is nothing they can do, and watch what is going on. I want to ruin this silence so much. I want to go out into street and and shout " how long will you watch people killing in a mood of holiday?! there must be something to do!". But even if i did it, no one would take me serious, plus, I would have punishment like my parents.. So i cannot do anything else exception being a part of this silence. 

The streets which were empty some minutes ago are getting full with the teens from age 12 to 18. I and Prim leave home, and join them. Everyone is going to their rows, praying not to be this year's tribute.  Effie Trinket seems on stage looking gla and with funny clothes, as always. I wonder if all these really entertain her, or she just does her work. I hope i will not have a chance to ask her personally. The video of powerful Panem is shown again. As soon as it is over she says with a smirk on her face : 

" Happy Hunger Games. And may the odds be ever in your favor!"

Odds.. cannot be in  everyone's favor today. As always, she tells: " Ladies first", and moves her hand over the hundreds of pieces of papers. Then finally she takes one of them and opens. I try to persuade myself that this name is not mine.  Effie announces the female tribiute of the 74th year's. Yeah, i was right, this is not me, this is my sister : Primrose Everdeen