Feelings behind life.. [ON HOLD]

chapter 4

At this moment everyone turned to the row where Prim stands. It is impossible!!! There was just one paper which was written her name, just one! Prim began to go through the stage slowly. No, I cannot let her go. I am running, I do not know when I began to run, but I am running until I catch Prim. When I look at her face, I realize the situation clearly. I try to stay strong and tell : " I am volunteer as tribute" with my most persuading voice.

Everyone is in shock. Haymitch puts his drink down for the first time since the Reaping has begun. I try to look confident. Anyway I have chance on comparison with a little 12 years old girl. Prim is screaming " no, Katniss , please!! She is not a volunteer, she cannot be!! "

And at this moment I can see the hatred to Panem clearly. I go towards Effie. All are looking at me now. OMG, what did I do just? Now the games seem more terrible to me. Haymitch is mourning something but I cannot catch his words. There was not a volunteer for years. . Now it is boys' turn. Effie picks a paper and read " Peeta Mellark". Now he has crowd's attention. He is coming towards us hesitating and get on. Effie- " Let's clap them" - tells. But no one does it. A woman kisses her 3 fingers and raises into air, then a boy, a girl and more and more. It seems, District.12 shows their bravery for the first time after the rebellion. I think that my district is the bravest. That is true that district 1 , 2 and 4 come onto the game s with courage and usually win, but I can never call this passion for blood and courage to kill as 'bravery'. Here is rebellious district. When there was war, it was us who damaged Panem most of all and laughed at them with mockingjays. Panem never forgets it, and does not let us forget either.

Now with this people appreciate me. My eyes are getting full with tears but I try not to cry. I do not want to seem as a weak tribute .

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Prim's POV

This happened, what I was afraid of most. They picked me and Katniss wanted to protect me as always. My sister is going to kill and to be killed because if me now. I do not want it, do not want her to do this, to suffer this much for me , I do not want to be her death reason. I cry loudly, try to catch her but they ignore me. There is someone who pulls me back softly. Gale. I beg him to set me free but he does not. " Prim, calm down, please. She has no way back, do not make it harder for her" these words slaps me.. She has no way back.. what does it mean? Did I lose her forever. No!

" Gale, let me go, I go home, I promise" I tell him and he puts me down finally. So I began to run home. There is something, I must give her before she goes. ..

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Katniss's POV

Reaping is over. They take us into the building. I enter the room and they lo k the door. As soon as I enter I begin to sob hard. Did I make a good decision? I have money which I have been making since I could earn. Prim can manage with them for some time. But then? I am her only one. Can she hold on life after watching my death, even if she has money? I don't even want to imagine how much she would hurt mentally.

It is time for people to come to visit us. After some time Prim enters the room with peacekeepers. I don't want her to see me in tears but I cannot help it. She gives me tight hug. Wait, there is something in her hands. I had completely forgot about it. It is Dad's mockingjay symbol. My dad used to sing beautiful songs, melodies. His voice was magnificent. When he was singing in the forest , all birds would keep science. Then mockingjay would begin to re- sing his song. He used to love mockingjay so much. Before his death dad had given this to Prim. She also loves singing. Prim puts it in to my hands tears coming down on her soft cheeks.

" take this, carry it on you in the games, in arena. Do not forget - mum, dad, me- all we will be with you there . Remember us whenever you look at it. Okay?" She tells.

" Okay, sweetie, I will. I will try to win . I promise." I reply. There are tons of words I want to say, but none of them comes out.

My little sister. She lives so big tragedies in her little heart. And one thought takes my breath away. What it it is the last time I see her?! I hug her tight her more than ever as if I can keep her with me like this.

" I love you, sweetie"

these were only words I was able to say.

"I love you, Katniss" i hear in responce.

Peacekeepers come to take her out far , far away that maybe I can never reach again.

Some minutes pass and the door opens again. Who can that be? Who can want to see me else? Oh.. that is Gale. I run into him without thinking. Now he(even he!) is so valuable to me. Maybe I will never see him again. I cannot believe the things I say but they run from my mouth out of my control:

" I am sorry, Gale, I am really sorry"

" oh, I understand. I was talking stupidly. Forget it" he tries to smile. Then holds my shoulders and look straight into my eyes:

" Katniss, you will come back. Never lose your hope. "

" but we will be 24 people and just one will win! " suddenly I tell what is killing me inside.

" and this one will be you" he tells then continues " I know, you can. But if something happens to you, do not worry. I will not let Prim suffer."

I did not expect it. They is the best thing someone could say me now.

" Thank you, thanks for million times, Gale!" I tell. But he ignores and keeps talking:

" But I cannot replace her sister, right? So do your best, you must."

Time is over. Peacekeepers come to take him away. Even when he is going, he tries to give me hope:

" Remember, Katniss, there are people waiting for you!"

I do not want to let him go, I run into him one more time but they do not stop. Door closed after them and I burst into tears. Oh.. how much I wish this whole day to be just a terrible nightmare. ..