Could it be Me or Her?

Chapter 8

Alec's POV~~

I awoke to being in a bed, which was strange considering me and Clary fell asleep on the sofa talking about everything that has happened since she first arrived.

I would never admit it to anyone who asked but she wasn't so bad. I can see why everyone likes her especially Stiles.  Shes very easy to talk to but shes not judgemental shes completely open to anything and listens to you. She reminds me of Allison in many ways this was just one of them. 

I went downstairs to see everyone there but Simon and Stiles, " Hey, wheres Stiles and Simon?" I needed to talk to stiles and sort all of this out, I would hate to leave things like this between us. "Stiles is with Simon who is at the Hotel Dumort why?" Magnus asked a little too sassily.  "Cause I need to talk to him, I need to sort this out with him. make him understand." I told them all looking at Magnus. "Well its going to have to wait, we need to talk.... NOW!" and it was at the moment I could tell what was coming, I was about to get lectured on why I was marrying Lydia, Bit obvious really.  "Ok what about" I played dumb. 

"Oh come off it Alec, you know exactly what about, STILES you dummy. Do you even care for him? Do you currently know how much he is hurting and how much he is breaking trying to make everyone think he's ok? Do you know why he left at school that day, and why you didn't see him for days on end, but most of all how and I mean HOW can you let Branwell take over, yes our parents made mistakes that we are going to have to fix to prove ourselves but how can we prove that we are worthy of the Institute if we aren't even there to SEE IT." Izzy states and yes she does have some points.

"Come on Alec you know this isn't the way about it, are you really going to give up before you even try because we both know that's not you." Jace reinforces.  "Yes I get it, I'm going about this the wrong way ok are you happy now, I know Stiles is hurting that's why I'm trying to talk to him and sort this out, I need him to know that I do like him maybe even love him but this is just how it has to be for the moment until I see another way to go about it because at this moment in time I don't see any other way to resolve the problems mum and dad made without putting this whole DAMN INSTITUTE AT RISK OK. So can we all just back off me for a little so I can think and maybe sort this out. THANK YOU!" I explode. 

This is all too much I just need to think so I left to do just that. I walked around beacon hills just trying to clear my head and I stumbled across a coffee shop. Walking in I am eloped in a cosy warm embrace. I ordered a red eye whilst waiting for my drink to be ready I took a look around the small shop, lots of people sat at small booths and tables talking and laughing with loved ones and friends it made me think of Stiles, I paid the lady and left with my drink in hand. 

No one knows this but since I was forced to marry Lydia I've not been sleeping. That's what the red eye is for, to keep me awake so that the others don't know. I get enough stick off Izzy as it is, imagine how much worse it could be if she found out I'm not sleeping.

Instead of sleeping I train, I go out and do missions. Lydia sends me on them alongside my parents the thing is no one from the institute would ever know because I go with people from other institutes therefore its a win win. We are doing our jobs, making some people happy and some will never know.

Although thinking about it now, its probably going to catch up to me. All the lack of sleep etc. I might go see cat and get her to put me to sleep for a little bit otherwise the others will soon find out and I can't have that happening, not anytime soon at least. That's the last thing I need happening, its all too much and I'm constantly overwhelmed but I cant tell anyone because all I want, the only person I want to marry is Stiles.

But that doesn't matter, what I want will never matter because I have to fix what my parents destroyed. I'll never be myself, I'll never do things I want. I'll always be tied down by responsibilities and problems that I didn't want nor did I cause. But most of all I'll never marry Stiles.

A/N~

Sorry it's a short chapter I should have more up soon.