The Man I Know I'm Not [Frerard] (Sequel To Tell Me I'm A Bad Man)

Epilogue

*Two years later*

There was music playing, and people were dancing, and everyone was smiling. Except I wasn't in there with them, not with the newlyweds, not with their families, friends, loved ones. It was the happiest we'd all been since Ryan, and maybe that was a good thing. Maybe this was what we needed.

And all thanks went to Mikey and Ray.

I leant against the balcony's railing, a cigarette at my lips. Weddings were so not my scene - I'd proved that once before - but, y'know, you had to hand it to them. They put on a good show. Three years of dating and true love had paid off. I was just single and bitter and not cut out for this shit.

It was dark, and everyone inside was having a good old time. Even my mom was here, laughing and joking with Mrs Way, a glass of wine in her hand. And hey, after she ditched Arnie, she became a better mom. It was like I could stand her again.

The smoke plumed towards the starry sky, and I ran a hand through my hair - which was in desperate need of a cut. Mikey and Ray were happy. That was all that mattered.

And then I heard footsteps, and I looked up.

"Hey." Came the voice of the person I was trying to avoid.

"Hi." I replied, deadpan, my eyes on the doors and nothing else.

"You've been avoiding me." It was a statement, and no matter how true it was, I couldn't let him be so cocky.

"Maybe." I arched an eyebrow, turning to face him. "Hello, Gerard."

He smiled, leaning one arm against the railing. "Hello, Frankie. How are you?"

"I'm good." I shrugged. "Well, as good as I can be. You?"

"The best I've felt in a long time." He glanced down at his hand, where a shiny new ring sat. "Listen, there's something -" he licked his lips, tucking a strand of hair - still black - behind his ear. "You know how I'm dating...?" He trailed off, scared to say the name, the look on my face telling me that I should know.

"Oh what, the one that Mikey had to tell me about?"

He bit his lower lip, clearly guilty. "Um. Yeah." I arched an eyebrow. "Well, uh, he proposed. And I said yes."

I exhaled through my nose. "Why do I feel like I've been punched in the face by déjà vu?"

He didn't reply for some time, looking at me with those eyes of his. And fuck, I still loved him. I spent every single day thinking about him, and I was kept awake at night by wanting to call him. But he was happier without me, and that was what meant the most to me.

"Brendon's smiling." He said quietly, and my eyes found my best friend, who was grinning and blushing and drinking champagne with his new boyfriend. "I haven't seen him smile like that since..."

"Yeah, well...he's strong. He's stronger than all of us, and you can't even deny it."

"What about you?"

I turned my head to face him, frowning slightly. "What about me?"

"I'd say you're pretty strong. Especially with the shit you've been through."

A smirk lifted the corner of my mouth. "At fifteen, my dad killed himself. At seventeen, I fucked my art teacher. At eighteen, my best friend died. No, Bren's stronger than me. He lost his soulmate."

"But he has someone new, now."

"That he does."

There was a pause as I took a drag of the cigarette, feeling his eyes on me. "What about you? Have...have you found someone else?"

"Do I look like I've found someone else?" My voice came out snappier and more bitter than intended, but he didn't look hurt. He looked like he felt sorry for me. "I don't need anyone. I'm fine on my own."

He scoffed, but didn't get time to reply as his dashing fiancé came out, all smiles and pristine suit. "Hey, Gee." I winced, but neither seemed to notice. "Frank, hi."

"Bert." I acknowledged him with a nod.

"Mikey's looking for you." He said to Gerard, who nodded, pushing himself off the railing. "I think they're about to cut the cake."

"Ah, okay." He turned to me. "You coming?"

"Soon." I replied, putting out my cigarette.

"Okay. See ya."

"Sure."

They went back inside, hand-in-hand, and despite wanting to throw up, I smiled.

You did well, Mr Way. You did well.

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