The Man I Know I'm Not [Frerard] (Sequel To Tell Me I'm A Bad Man)

Alternate Chapter 24 - A Love That's So Demanding

His eyes were red and puffy from crying, matching the rest of his flushed face. His hair was unkempt and pushed back from his face, though a few strands refused to stay back and flopped in front of his eyes. Gerard looked down at me, his backpack over one shoulder, looking more scared than I'd ever seen him before.

"You're gonna be okay," I tried to reassure him, my hand reaching up to cup his face. "I promise."

He nodded, closing his eyes. "I'll be okay," he said, mostly to himself. "Thank you. For not giving up on me even though I deserved it."

"I'm not giving up on you, ever." I shook my head. "I still love you, despite everything."

His lower lip trembled, and tears started to drip down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, wiping the tears from his face. "For putting you through so much shit."

I shrugged. "Let's discuss this when you're better. Come on, let's go."

We both looked up at the unimposing building before us, the building that proclaimed that it would fix all of our problems. Gerard shook beside me, but he still took a deep breath and squeezed my hand.

"I'll see you soon. I love you." He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, the first kiss we'd shared for weeks. When he pulled back, he was still crying, but he fiercely wiped the tears away and forced a smile. "I got this."

And then he turned and walked into the rehab center, in the vain hope that he would fix himself.

~

I made my way back to the house, grabbing a few groceries and cleaning products on the way, and as I went I made a list of things I needed to do while Gerard was away.

1. Get rid of Bert.

I didn't care where he went, but he could not be here when Gerard came home. It would undo all of his hard work and turn him back into the mess he was before.

2. Get a job.

That was a no-brainer. I couldn't keep up with the house and paying bills and stuff without having a job, and Gerard needed a nice home to come back to. I had to grow up real fast.

3. Discuss with Mikey what's happening vis a vis Gerard.

On the way back to the house, I sent Mikey a text letting him know that Gerard had gone into rehab okay and that I was back at the house sorting some stuff out. He had been a godsent those past few days, helping me arrange Gerard's stay and sorting all the adult stuff out for me.

I was fucking terrified of being without Gerard for an extended period of time, but it was all for the greater good. Gerard needed to get better, otherwise he was going to die, and that would destroy me. It would destroy a lot of us.

I opened the front door and stepped inside, heading straight for the kitchen to unpack the groceries. I couldn't hear anything so I assumed I was alone, but I was proven wrong when a voice behind me asked, "Was he okay?"

My whole body tensed up and I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what was about to come. I needed to get him to leave, to never come back, but it was going to prove to be difficult, that was for sure. Bert was a stubborn fucker, and he was a mean fucker at that.

"He was fine." I turned around to face him and his wide, bloodshot eyes. The asshole was on something. How fucking dare he?! "And you need to go."

"Go?" He frowned, as if he had now clue what I was on about.

"Yes. Leave. Get out of this house. Take your shit and fuck off." I pushed past him into the living room, and pointed towards the door. "I will not have you and your poison in this house any longer."

Bert began to laugh. "No, no, honey, you don't get it. You can't just get rid of me like I'm a bad smell. I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes you are, I'm giving you an hour to get your shit together and get out of here before I call the police."

He laughed harder, shaking his head. "Absolutely not. What will you tell the cops? This mean man won't leave my house, mommy please tell him to leave!"

"How about sexual assault," I ticked them off on my fingers, getting angrier as I spoke, not noticing him coming towards me slowly. "Including rape, possession of drugs, buying drugs, dealing drugs, assault in general, being an asshole, trespass-"

His fingers closed around my throat and he shoved me against the wall so hard it knocked the wind out of me. There was no more humor on his face, only fury, the fire blazing in his dark eyes. He began to apply pressure, and as he spoke, spittle flew out of his mouth and hit me in the face. His breath stank of booze, and his eyes were sunken in his head. I tuned out what he was saying, but I caught the words "child", and "prick", and "Gerard". I whispered Gerard's name as I struggled against his hands, but it was a losing battle, and the darkness was chasing me.

And I couldn't get away.