Counting Sheep

Ch. 6 - Frozen feelings

You never find yourself until you face the truth. - Pearl Bailey

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November 23rd

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We hadn't spent more than 12 hours at home since the 'Chaos Makers' case. We had accidentally made an even larger name for ourselves now than before. I missed my bed, I missed my constellations. 

Dad had taken a temporary leave for the last 3 cases because of Jack coming down with a really bad case of pneumonia and Beth had caught it too. Thankfully Emily was able to take over as temporary unit chief until he came back. I made sure to call them every night, so I could read Jack a story. 

Our last case had taken a large toll on me. We had been working a case involving a cult and I had been kidnapped in the middle of it. The nightmares had increased tenfold throughout the case and I had shut Spencer out. I hadn't meant too, but I was experiencing a new nightmare and it was just so powerful that some days it would blur my reality. 

That day I had been kidnapped the nightmare had been so realistic that when Spencer knocked on my hotel door, I screamed and ran from him. Resorting to me hiding under the bed as he gently tried to coax me out. After 30 minutes, he finally gave up and called in JJ. She had sat me down with a cup of herbal tea and with her motherly eyes asked me to explain what was happening. 

"The nightmares are worse and completely different. And this time the man who burned my family. The man who burned everyone I loved is Reid. And JJ when I wake up it doesn't go away. The dream is replacing my memory. My reality is being blurred before my own eyes." I had to set my tea back down as my hands were too shaky to lift it. 

"Max, you are a genius. You know it wasn't Spence." 

"I know JJ, I know. But for the first time in my life me being a genius is a disadvantage. I care about Spencer more than anybody knows and my brain is turning him into a symbol of fear." She reached forward and grabbed my hands.

"Max, you need to tell him. If anyone can help you figure this out it's you two." 

"No. No. No JJ you can't tell him. He can't know. I can't do that to him." 

"Okay, Max. Can you handle this case? All of us would understand if you can't." I snapped forward.

"I'm the only one who's lived as our victims. I can handle this. I promise." JJ soon left so I could get ready for the day. I got dressed in slacks and a sweater that Reid had given me. My mind may be trying to turn him into a symbol of fear but certain items of comfort were still that. 

He had given me this one because he had never worn it around the team and we both knew they wouldn't recognize it as his. It was large on me, but not too large. I pulled it on and breathed in the calming smell. An hour ago I may have been terrified but within an instant, I felt my heart rate returning to normal. 

"I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this." I muttered to myself as I left my hotel room. I stood outside the hotel attempting to flag down a cab. My head was busy thinking about the case when one pulled up in front of me. 

"Brighton Police Department please." I paid little attention to the cab drivers' comment as he drove off. When he took a left instead of a right I starting paying attention very quickly. 

"What are you doing? The police department as back that way." I screamed. The driver only ignored me. "I am a federal agent, you either let me go or I will arrest you on attempted kidnapping charges."

"You'll never get the chance, Maxine Carter." His voice sounded like broken glass. I pulled my phone out and pressed my power-button 6 times. Something I had programmed into it to send out an immediate S.O.S. and my location. Now all I could do is wait.