KEEPING THE FAITH

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TEN YEARS LATER

KEDAH
I'm pretty sure that the bright light I saw wasn't what I wanted it to be.
It wasn't the shining gates of pearl and the walls of jade, or the streets of gold. I didn't feel the overwhelming love and peace.
Instead, it was the bright lights of a hospital room, and I felt isolated and cold. It has been like that for the past ten years.

I'm now standing in front of my mirror, drying my face off from washing my face. I've changed dramatically. There are faint shadows below my cheekbones. I can see the outline of my ribs on both of my sides. My hair (that was so long and thick) is now cut to my shoulders and has thinned out quite a bit. But the scar on my cheek is still prominent.
I stroked my thumb over my scar.
I remember the day I got it like it was yesterday. Julius and I were in New York, and I remember lying in the dirt and watching him leave to kill the monster. My heart still races and my stomach twists when I think about Julius putting himself in danger.
Julius...
My heart yearns to see him again. My body aches to embrace him in a tight hug once again. To talk to him again.
Who am I kidding?
He probably moved on already. He must've met someone else. I'm sure he has. He was a Light. It's like Captain America. Millions of women around the world would've loved to be with him. He was a hero.
But... he DID end up with his Peggy at the end...
I still miss him.
But more than Julius even, I long to see my little brother Gad.
My, he must be so big now. My heart breaks every time I think about how I wasn't there to watch him grow. To take care of him. To spend time with him.
To be his big sister.
I shook my head. I knew that if I buried myself deeper in that hole, I would start to regret becoming a Light to save millions.
Suddenly, a harsh banging on the door almost makes me jump out of my skin.
"BERNSTAD! YOUR TIME IS UP! GET OUT NOW!"
I rol my eyes.
"I'm coming," I say in a neutral tone.
I forgot to mention something. The people here treat me like a criminal. They only call me by my last name. They torture me if I do something that makes them mad, like groan or complain about anything.
Only two people treat me like a friend, but when it's just the two of us. Those people are Dulce Anderson and Timothy (everyone calls him Tee) Grant.
Dulce is the one that designed the arm and leg I now have.
After five years of being here, they've implanted a fake arm and a fake leg on me. It's very scaly and intricate. I don't know how they got it to be so intuitive. It's as if my real arm and leg was back. The tiny scales adjust to any kind movement I want them to.
When they release me to go outside (but they blindfold me so I don't see where I am and they handcuff me so I don't take it off. It's stupid, but it's just to give me the opportunity to breathe in some fresh air. It's better than nothing.), she's the one that escorts me. She's friendly when we're alone, but when she's around others, she gets real quiet and distant. I've sort of become friends with her.
Tee is another story.
He's very kind to me. Very gentle, and when I have nightmares at night, he's the one that's sent in my room to calm me down. For the past ten years, he's been like an older brother to me, but he's only a few months older. He's always been there.
He's almost...
Too nice.
I've wondered sometimes why he's been so nice to me. Why he cares more than anyone in the building about how I'm doing. Why he flinches and walks away with his head down when I'm being punished for something.
A banging on the door alerted me once again.
"OUT BERNSTAD! NOW!!"
I fumble to get the door open, and as soon as I get out, the man grabs me and pushes me towards the hallway.
He cursed and pushed me more for taking so long.
His hand clenches around my arm so mare that my blood stops flowing.
He opens the door to my room and throws me in.
I land on the floor with a thud.
Around them, I function like a robot. My voice and face is neutral, I don't groan or react anymore. I won't give them that satisfaction.
Around Dulce and Tee, I'm a little more open.
My room consists of a small bed (which is pretty decent since I have a faded green quilt), a small dresser (I keep my clothes, a sketchbook and a few books in there), and an open window to which I can only see the sky. I tried once climbing up on my bed to see if I could see over it, but then a guard saw me and I got punished.
The only color in the room is a small painting that Tee brought me and a picture of Gad that I always carried during my missions.
He was only a year old in the picture, eating a bowl of spaghetti with his hands. There was sauce and Parmesan cheese all over him, but it was my favorite picture of him.
I just lied there on the cold floor, not wanting at all to get up anymore.
I had no light in my room, so my room was dark at the moment, which meant that it was nighttime. Obliviously.
I got up, then changed into a more comfortable piece of clothing. My wardrobe consisted of plain t-shirts and long sleeve shirts, along with plain, faded jeans and a few sweatpants.
I grabbed a t-shirt and some sweatpants, then tucked myself into bed.
Every night, I quietly quoted as much Scripture that Georgie drilled me with as I could until I fell asleep.
That night, I dreamed of playing hide and seek with Gad.
I never found him.
Another nightmare.