10,000 Hours

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10,000 HOURS

"Okay, you filthy brats! Get into a single-file line! I want everyone on their best behaviors for this expedition. No whining, bickering, tears, freaking out! And absolutely no regretting the choices you make!"

My lecture continued another ten minutes before we were ordered to mount. Petra and Historia both agreed to stay behind and take care of Nadetta while I carried out my duty as the Survey Corps captain and Humanity's Strongest Soldier.

Eren disappeared two months back, and I'm starting to go crazy. Will he ever come back to me? Or is he just gonna abandon both me and our child?

I don't know. Hanji is here to support me on the days I can barely function. Mikasa comes into my room sometimes and we cry on each other's shoulders when we need to. Or we just sit in silence as I rock Nady to sleep.

I mounted with a glare, mind going back to that night. I know I wasn't seeing shit. He had to have been kidnapped. But he wouldn't let himself stay in containment forever. With his damn stubbornness and determination to kill off the titans, he'd escape within the first week at the least; first month at the most.

I snapped out of my thoughts as we began to move out. We saw no titans upon leaving the walls, the fields as silent as an abandoned steeple.

Flares were shot off in the distance, but I ignored them in favour of looking for signs. If Eren was kidnapped like I think he was, then he could be anywhere. Either out here or deep in the walls.

Movement caught my eyes and I shot off without awaiting a signal, cutting the titan off before it could think of touching my squad. I fell back on my horse and continued riding on.

The expedition lasted a whole week, and I found no sign of him or anything going through but titans. Once I returned I went straight to my quarters where Petra and Historia sat with my child in the ginger's lap as the blonde played peek-a-boo with her.

I smiled softly at her laughing smile as she squealed happily. I walked into the bathroom with clean clothes and showered before bathing. I put on the clean outfit and stepped back into my room. Petra was smiling shyly at my entrance. I nodded as I grabbed my daughter and squeezed her in my arms.

Tears slid down my cheeks like ghosts, as if they weren't there, but I could feel them. I rubbed my face against her shoulder, feeling her little hands grip my shirt lapels as I held my shoulders still. I heard the door open and shut, leaving us alone.

I laid on the bed and grieved silently, silently crying into the last piece of Eren I had left. She shifted moods quickly, going from happy-go-lucky to a quivering mess in my arms. She started to cry loudly, her small lips wide in a whine.

I cradled her and shushed her, rubbing her face with my sleeve to rid of the salty water staining her lightly tanned beauty. We both fell asleep, and when we awoke I felt lighter, but I still felt the tight grip on my heart.

I cleaned up my Nady, as well as myself before heading to the canteen for the evening meal. I fed her smushed potatoes, chuckling as the silly girl got bits of food on her cheeks. I wiped her off and fed myself, bouncing Nadetta on my lap as people around me kept her busy.

Simultaneous to finishing my meal I took my bairn back to our bedroom. I removed my clothing and replaced them with trousers and a comfortable shirt. Settling into the comforter, I put the infant to sleep, but the darkness never settled into my mind. And what happened next, I thought I'd never have to deal with.

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