Dear Sweet Love, I Know Something You Don't...

That Night

There is a moment when you wake up, that your eyes are still closed, but you are fully aware of the morning. During this moment, I could feel little kisses down my neck. When they stopped, I moved my head a little. It landed on a hard surface. I could hear a heartbeat.

Peter kissed my hair, and hugged me tightly to his chest. I almost forgot about classes.

Classes! I bolted up so fast that I fell out of bed. Peter leaned over to see me splayed on the ground.

"Ow." I said in a small voice.

Peter laughed and helped me up. He pulled me back onto the bed, kissing me so I wouldn't leave. He moved us so he was on top, kissing me and running his hands through my hair. I tried to get away, but Peter was trapping me.

"Don't go Covey." he groaned.

"I don't want to." I whispered.

"You don't have to." Peter whispered back.

"Yes I do. I'll flunk out if I miss this class..."

"There are no classes today."

I bolted up. "What?"

"There was a message on your phone. They let everyone out a day early for professor meetings."

I laughed and fell back onto the bed. Peter kissed me again, hard. I reluctantly peeled away so I could get dressed.

My outfit was hard. I needed something warm enough for the snow, but sexy enough for Peter.

I decided on my red sweater that went off to one shoulder, with cozy jeans and lace up boots. I left my hair down, but brushed it until it was shiny.

When I got back to my room, Peter was fully dressed again. He looked so handsome, as always.

He grinned at me like a little boy with his eye on a toy train.

I went to the window. The ground was buried in white. We had a full day to play in the snow.

"You want to go outside? There's a great snow hill in front of the school."

Peter just said, "Let me get my jacket." and I knew he was sold.

Marie Rose left her vintage red sled behind when she left for Vermont, saying that "there would be plenty of sleds between all the cousins". I took the sled from its place by the door, and grabbed my light pink coat with the hooks.

Me and Peter walked close together, his warm arms around me.

"Do you ever wonder what any of our friends are doing right now?"

Peter scrunched his forehead. "Most of my friends are at UVA with me."

I leaned my head on my shoulder as we walked. "But what about Chris? Or Lucas?"

"They were more your friends than mine."

I shook my head. Chris had sent me a postcard from the Dominican Republic within a month of her leaving. Then the next month I got one from the Bahamas. Then Japan. It seemed that Chris was making her way around the world, just like she said she would.

As for Lucas, I had been up to visit him in New York for a few weekends, and they were always some of my favorite trips. Last time, we saw My Fair Lady.

When we got to the sledding hill, I was surprised to see that me and Peter were the only ones there. I guessed that everyone went home for the holidays, and were sledding on their own snow hills.

Peter got on the sled first, and I sat between his legs. I picked up the little rope.

He leaned down to kiss me, and I pushed off the hill. He was thrown back a little by the sudden rush. I laughed, and leaned back against his chest.

We would have done fine if we hadn't hit that icy patch. I tried to steer, but the patch never ended. I ended up falling off the sled, taking Peter with me.

We rolled down the remainder of the hill, bumping our heads along the way.

I landed on top of Peter, and he wrapped his arms around me. Peter seemed to be very needy in the way of touching this week. I understood, it had been basically forever since the last time we saw each other.

"Now I know why no one else was on the hill." I laughed. "It's so icy!"

Peter stood up, and held out his hands to me. I grabbed them and tried to stand, but a sudden pain in my ankle made me tumble back down to earth. Peter tried again, but I kept falling. Finally, he just scooped me up and started walking. The sled was still on the side of the hill, and Peter grabbed it on his way up.

My ankle was killing me now. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to cry. Peter cradled me to his chest as he walked me back to my dorm, dragging the red sled all the way.

When we got back, Peter put the sled back in its corner, and took me to my bed.

He sat down, placing me on his lap, and examined my ankle.

"It's not bending any weird way, so it must just be twisted." he said.

I closed my eyes. "I can't believe that happened on our first run."

Peter chuckled. "Clumsy Lara Jean."

Now I was laughing.

Peter got some snow for my ankle, and it started to feel better. He insisted that we wrap it because who knew what would happen once I stood up? I let him play the doctor, but I knew it was a trust thing for Peter. If I let him do this, he would see me as seeing him as someone trusted.

I kissed him when he was done, and it quickly got intimate. Peter's shirt was off, and pretty soon he was tugging mine off too. I don't think we realized what we were doing. We didn't talk it out or debate. We just did it.

Peter unbuttoned his pants, and took them off. He undid mine, and slid them down my legs. I was glad I'd put on a pretty bra and underwear set today.

Peter laid me down on the bed and started kissing me. It was like I was in a coma. I knew what was happening, but it was a blur.

My ankle still hurt, but Peter was very gentle as he maneuvered around it.

Part of me wanted to get out the condoms, but I just couldn't. Not now. Not when I was in one of the most passionate moments of my life. Margot and Daddy would chastise me later, but they didn't have to know.

They didn't have to know.