Only Human Twilight

14

Our engagement remained our little secret for nearly two weeks afterward. We weren't intentionally hiding it, exactly, but Edward confided in me – after a great deal of pestering – that his father would not be pleased.

"It's not you, not at all," he said immediately, trying to reassure me. "My father has had it in his head since I was born that I would go to a great school and become a lawyer like him. Until now, there was nothing more important than my parents' approval, so I never argued. I don't think he'll take it well...but now that I know what I want, nothing is going to stop me."

"You know I would wait, right? If you wanted to go to school? I don't want to cause any problems in your family –"

Edward merely laughed and kissed me. "I appreciate that, but I can't wait that long for you. Don't worry about my father; I'll handle him. And my mother will be thrilled."

I had no doubt that his mother would be happy, if only for the fact that Edward had given up his notions of going off to war on some heroic adventure. Every day, she reported the news dutifully – with growing relief. The Allies had just won a long battle against the Germans, the Second Battle of the Marne, if I remembered my history lessons correctly. Now they had launched an offensive. The tides of the war did very much seem to be turning, which seemed to comfort everyone. Only I'd been privileged with the knowledge that the war would end in November.

Things remained very much the same as they always had during this time, otherwise. I still spent most of my time with Edward, though I tried to help Elizabeth around the house as much as possible – not an easy task, considering they had a maid and a cook, but I tried. Edward found more and more excuses for us to sneak off places alone, mostly for the sake of stealing heated kisses. Between Edward and the ridiculous Midwestern humidity, my head was constantly reeling.

Only in mid-August, when Edward's father mentioned at dinner that he ought to be packing to return to school, did things finally start to go awry.

"You know they want you up there a week before term starts. That doesn't leave you much time," he went on, oblivious to my suddenly white face and Edward having frozen in place.

Edward swallowed the bite he'd been chewing on with difficultly and met my eyes briefly before answering.

"Actually, Father, about that...I've decided I don't want to return to school."

I could see Edward Sr.'s jaw clenched with anger and Edward bracing himself for confrontation, but I felt suddenly like a strange spectator as a horrifying realization came over me.

Edward would be in Chicago when the epidemic hit because of me.

If he went off to boarding school like he was supposed to, he wouldn't be in the city. He might never catch the disease. He wouldn't be taken to Carlisle's hospital. He wouldn't be changed.

Edward would remain human...have the life he always wanted...

I was paralyzed with the terrifying, sickening knowledge that the future hung in the balance. My instincts flew in a thousand different directions. On one side was the impulse to protect Edward at all costs...on the other was the need to protect my future at all costs. What could I do?

"Maybe we should discuss this in my office," I heard Mr. Masen say as he stood up from the table, silverware clattering down against his plate.

Edward got up silently to follow. I wouldn't have known he was nervous at all if he hadn't given my hand a tight squeeze before he followed his father out of the room.

"Don't worry," Elizabeth said, glancing through her eyelashes at me. My face must have tipped her off to my distress. "They're just being a father and son."