Only Human Twilight

15

The fear was clear in Bella's eyes as she flew into my arms. I couldn't believe I had let this happen. I should never have let her go out alone, should never have introduced her to Norman. To my knowledge, he'd never forced himself upon a woman, but I wouldn't put him past trying. He was never getting his hands on my Bella, never. Not if I had to watch her every second of the day...

I paced restlessly through the trees that I hadn't left since Bella had disappeared hours ago. From my count, a week had passed in 1918...I didn't know why the days seemed to pass in hours for me, but it wasn't especially comforting. It meant that every minute was full of possible new dangers for Bella...and I couldn't do a thing about them.

My past self loved her as much as I did, that was for certain – even the memories of the emotions were enough to leave me breathless at times. I would defend her furiously...but I was human in that time, just as she was, and we were both so vulnerable. How could I protect her when I was so weak? And the worst part was that the human version of me was like all humans – naïve and in denial. I didn't believe anything could happen to me, I believed I was strong enough – and I was so wrong.

"Edward, dear, you can't keep Bella locked in the house forever," my mother scolded me, shooing me down the stairs. "Take her out, entertain her."

I stopped dead outside the parlor, watching her. She was reading a book, trying to salvage what little breeze would come through the windows. I watched the line of sweat trickle down her smooth neck; the sight swamped me with heat, and suddenly I was in desperate need of relief...

I had to laugh at myself, overwhelmed by typical human hormones. I'd never been interested in a girl that way before, and I was growing more confused by the day. The naivety was...refreshing, in a way.

Swimming. I snorted. I'd disguised it to my mother as a way to entertain Bella, like she'd wanted, but really, it was an excuse to see her half-naked, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not. It worked, too, but of course it would. Bella had never been one for holding back, even by the constraints of her time...she could do all sorts of damage in mine.

Goodness, would she go that far with my past self? I buried my face in my hands and shook my head. Of course she would, if I wanted it. And I definitely wanted it. I wasn't sure how I felt about that – of course, I could feel my past self's intense desire for her, the need for some gratification – but I wasn't sure how I could watch Bella with my past self in an act so intimate...

"These are your memories," I reminded myself aloud, trying to drill it into my head. "She's with you so it's ridiculous to be jealous."

"No shit, Sherlock," Emmett's voice called from the house. I growled in frustration; how had I not realized how loud I was being?

I sighed to myself and slumped down next to my usual tree. Perhaps I should just give up on processing all this and give in to my role as a spectator. It wasn't as if I could actually change anything that was occurring in the past, so I might as well try to stay calm about it all, if not enjoy it.

I could feel my eyes widening as she came out of the water. Her cotton shift clung like a second skin to her body, outlining the perfect curves of her breasts and hips. I could see clearly the dark stains of her nipples, the patch of hair between her legs. She might as well have been naked – not that I would have been complaining if she were.

I jerked my eyes away from her, but the damage had been done. I would never, ever be able to erase that image from my mind. Bella was...perfect. Everything a woman ought to be – soft and curvy and lush. My mind went without permission to the thought of our naked bodies pressing together, how her warm, downy skin would feel against mine...