Only Human Twilight

26

When I could finally stop walking I was standing in front of a house where I had felt at home for months. I walked in and immediately felt the emptiness coming down on me. I had no tears left and I didn't feel like doing anything. I went upstairs and stood in front of the bed where I had slept wonderfully a few nights earlier with my Edward, who would now wake up in a different kind of life.

I had led him to that life and he had told me, years in the future, that he felt like a monster and now I had done it to him. I was the monster here.

I could not even lie down in bed it just made me very uncomfortable, so I quickly left the room and entered the living room. I sat down on the couch and couldn't do anything anymore. I just stared ahead. I had hoped to return home, back to the normal time,  with my vampire Edward. But no matter how hard I wished to go back every time I opened my eyes, I was just sitting in the living room of the Masen house.

I munst have fallen asleep because the next time i openend my i eyes i saw sunlight hitting my face. I felt horible and i think that is also the way i looked. I hadn't heard anything from Mary, the cookin. I didn't think she had survived. I just layed down again and hooped to fall asleep.

An other day past by and i still felt horible. This house didn't make it any better. Al the happy memory's with Mrs Masen and Edward, al the times i heard the door open and saw Edward after a long day of him working. But i knew that he would not appear when i opened the door. I had to get out of here. So i opend te door en walked out not knowing where to go.

Some time later - it could have been minutes or hours or days, for all that I was paying attention - I ran out of will and came to a stop in the middle of the street.

As I looked around, I realized I'd been here before. The first time, it had been busy, full of shoppers and workers. It was much bleaker today, with only the occasionally person scurrying down the road in transit to another location; no one lingered but me. Nevertheless, I recognized the buildings, the exact view around me. I was in precisely the place I had arrived in this time, just the place where I'd turned around to find Edward looking back at me.

Was it fate that had brought me here? Had my subconscious decided to return to this place? Or was it all a coincidence that I'd wandered back to the place where I'd started?

Did it even matter? No matter where I went in this time, it would never take me back to 2006, to the Forks I knew, to my Edward, to the life I'd left behind and was desperate to return to. There was nothing and no one that could help me now.

I sank to the brick-paved street in despair, curling in on myself, wrapping my arms around my knees. What was the point of it all if I couldn't go back now? Could Fate really be so cruel?

I closed my eyes and dreamed of cold hands on my face and gentle lips, of a voice like honey and a crooked smile. The thought only made me ache harder, tormented by what I didn't have.

And then I opened my eyes.