Lots of Short Stories

Freight Train

This one's a lot darker. Possibly trigger warnings for some people? I don't know. I think I'll say what sort of stories they are at the start. Suicide mentions (sort of).. suicide..

I stare at the barren countryside as it passes, wishing I could go back to what it was before. I wish it was yesterday. Everything'd be okay if it was yesterday, but I guess it wouldn't've seemed okay yesterday. Yesterday I was wishing it was the day before. That's just what I do every day. There's nothing I can really do, except stare at the hills go past and regret not getting off the bloody train. I'm stuck here, on a freight train that won't ever stop.

I got on the train to escape the other train I had just got off, and now I'm just wishing it was yesterday. Because yesterday, I wouldn't've been so far away from any town. And with every passing day, I just get further and further away.

I shift onto my back, and stare at the sky. It's almost mythical, really. It's so blue, a perfect shade of blue, a perfect sky blue. I wish I didn't appreciate it as much, as my scenario is far from perfect, but the sky is too breathtaking not to. Just me, on the floor of an empty carriage on a freight train.

Back where I lived, at home, we always used to admire the freight trains as they passed. The two of us always dreamed of going together. Now I'm stuck on a freight train without her. I didn't cry when she left. I don't tend to cry. I just stare in a different direction. Not always the happiest one, just a different one, in which I can't see her.

It doesn't always work though. Even when close my eyes, I can still see her smiling face. I got on the freight train. It didn't happen the same way for her. There were so many sharp shapes in her eyes, you could imagine that they all told the same story. I didn't want to leave her. She left me. She would always talk about leaving, but I never imagined it happening this way. I miss her so much.

I wish she'd come back, and in truth, she'll never come back, but I'll see her eventually. I could leave too, but she always told me not to. She said that we'd run away together, but she left it all behind. I almost wish that I did too.

Is it better where she is now? Can you still see the ground? Would you want to go back? If she had a choice, would she come back? I guess I'll never know. When I leave, I guess I could ask her, but I'd have to wait so long. I don't have to though. I could leave right now. I could walk along the top of the carriages of the freight train, and then I'd... leave. Forever. I'd see her again- as she is the only one I'd ever want to leave with. But she left without me.

Sorrow must swallow a large portion of the world when everything happens. I know it has, but I'm surprised that people aren't drowning in the bloody stuff.

The sky changes all the time, but behind our vision, it stays. And she left. I'm drowning in sorrow. Why'd she leave me? That's what I want to know. If I could just ask her...

I want to climb up the freight train, and walk to the down to the front. The driver'd see me, but I guess that doesn't matter. I almost pity the guy, and how many people he's seen leaving, and how he's stuck doing the same routine every day for eternity.

I've seen his bland face. He's so monotone, so pale. You'd almost wonder why he hasn't left yet. What if I do climb up to the roof of this freight train. What if I will. My hands sting from the hot metal baking in the mid-day sun, but I know I'll balance on the roof. There's a million ways I could leave forever, but I just want to see here again. They'll never know. Nobody'll ever know. Nobody except the poor driver. He watches all life change in front of his eyes, but doesn't know how to look away.

I wish I could look away, but staring from high up at the country side is so addictive. What if someone else was begging me to stay with them? What would that feel like? I feel like the driver, in a way. I'm so pale, and monotone ever since she left me.

I just want to see her again. I knew I could balance on the roof. Some would say that's amazing; balancing on the roof of a moving freight train, but I just feel so bland with out her. Colour always struck my unmoving world when she'd unpause the day, and smile. Looking at her gave me so much joy, but now if I don't leave I won't see her for so many years, and I don't want to deal with that, so why should I?

I'm standing at the head of the freight train, watching the countryside speed past. I can almost see her above me.

I leap. Leap away from everything. Leap into the same place she did. I lept into the fucking freight train.