Lots of Short Stories

I stare at you

Purely fluff. Kinda.. Except sad.

I stare at you, sunlight making your brown hair glisten, and listen your voice; rich and deep, seemingly full of meaning. I try to push away the denial, but I've got too many thoughts racing around my naturally anxious brain. I'm in a daze, just staring at you, wondering if I should like... not...

"I love you," I say, words flooding through my brain and out my mouth before I can stop them. What I said is true, but it doesn't shock me that much that I said those words. They mean quite a bit to me, being able to say them to you, but I wonder if they mean the same thing to you, or if you just throw them around.

"I love you too,"

It wouldn't feel like you to do that, but I guess you could. When I say those words to you, I mean them romantically, and I assume you mean them platonically, but I would think about why you would repeat them back to me if you mean them in a different way.

In some ways we're in different worlds, but if I talk to you, usually all other thoughts leave my head, and I stay in a total daze of gay essence.

I stare at you, sunlight reflecting off your short dark hair. I haven't talked to you in a while, but we both need time to heal. I do miss you, but I don't really know where to go next. I talked to one person until 4:30 am, but for once not in love. She kissed me, I kissed her, so, everybody else'd say it was romantic love, but, it didn't feel that way really.

It couldn't be more platonic really. I don't feel free, if anything I feel more burdened. So why'd I end things with you, my heart says, but, my brain knows. I miss you though, so much. It's been many weeks, and my feelings haven't changed in the slightest. I hug my pillow at night, imagining you in my arms. You tried to help me from the darker state I was in, but when we left each other I only fell further away from the light.

I stare at you, sunlight sharpening the features on your face, your face so close to mine. I stare into your eyes, and can see myself reflected in them. I'd stay in your arms forever, but I'm always worried about the future. I try to note your features, your few greyer eyelashes crossed over together in the corner of your right eye, parallel to mine. Your splash of freckles on your tan skin, which are shaded in a brown hue, and few darker and scattered.

I would tell you what your eyes looked like every time we saw eachother, but now we're just friends.

Everything breaks me, and all of your images rotating in my mind, all of you so tantalizingly close, but I'm so afraid of going forwards. I don't want to fall in love again, as there's been too many. Some would say I'm noncommittal, but I love all three of you equally. I try to escape from thoughts of you, but I can't help but stare at you.