Lots of Short Stories

Freedom

This one has mentions of self-harm, but also being closeted- so.. trigger warning?

To be free... there's no such thing really, we're always burdened and brought back by responsibility and law. But escape is a different thing. A short escape from life as you know it, sometimes with someone else, sometimes alone. Here I am, trying to take advantage of my escape in a field of grass, alone, pitying the people who haven't figured out their escape.

The moon is always brighter on a night of escape, and the stars lighting up the sky and my mood. I'm always trapped in my thoughts, so there's never really freedom, but there's always escape.

School pressing on my brain and confining me like a fox in a sharp trap, that cuts said fox over time and makes it bleed and yelp, and pray for help, but no one would help a fox. I don't believe in god, I dismiss god and wonder why anyone would look up to him when he hates some of us.

I pull up my sleeve and run my fingers over the marks on my skin. It's sad that there's so many. 'God' drove me to this, as well as angry teachers and prejudiced friends. I hear footsteps and hurriedly pull up my sleeve. My heart is pounding, as I really don't want to return to my dormitory.

The person is now standing next to me, in silence, and they pull their hood off, revealing their face. My heart jolts, as it is the very person I've crushed on for years. We're the same gender, and that's why I've kept my feelings secret, like every book character ever. I tend to sit in my room, caged in my thoughts and stare at the roof.

The person next to me and I are very good friends, and of course I just had to fall for her. She's an incredible person, selfless and confident. She's got a boyfriend right now, of course, the third one this year. It's early October, and I honestly think she dates to spend her time.

I don't understand that part of her, but I do for pretty much everything else.

"I broke up with my boyfriend," She says. God she's got a wonderful voice.

"Again?" I tease. She huffs. I grin and put my arm around her.

"I'm joking," I assure her, resting my head on hers, as I am marginally taller than her. Her soft hair smells like her shampoo, which she excitedly showed me on the second day of being in a dorm together.

"It's... I guess new? They said it was the first 'official model', and it was cheaper than the other ones, because it was on sale, so I got it!"

She sleeps underneath me on a bunk bed, and we both have an incredible view of the garden, which has an archway at the back end that leads to the grass fields, where we are now.

I feel myself starting to drift into sleep, but it shakes me awake when she sighs. I can tell she's upset, but it's unlike her to be upset about a breakup.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fi- Um.. actually I.. uh... I don't really know how to tell you this, but I kind of.. I think that I- uh... never mind." She takes a step away from me, her breathing becoming slower. My heart thuds. What was she about to tell me? She surely can't be... like me... can she?

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me unless you want to, but just know that I'll support you through ... uh... everything and anything." I say, the words tumbling awkwardly out of my mouth. She would usually smile at something like this, but I know she's in deep thought.

She looks up at me, and I smile slightly at her, and she looks at my eyes, and a warm feeling spreads through me, and I gaze at her eyes, which are deep brown, with flecks of warm yellow. Her eyes calm me down, and their sheer beauty renders me helpless.

"I- uh.. I- don't know how to say this, but I- um.. like girls!" She stutters out quickly, before sitting/falling onto a sitting position on the ground. I stare at the spot where she just was, and try to kill a wide grin spreading across my face. I bob down, just like her, and put my arms around her. I can feel her tears soaking into my hoodie, and I can't think straight..

"Me too," I whisper, and overcome by emotion, we collapse on the fence together. I feel a single tear leak from my eye and trickle down my cold cheek onto the grass, where it sinks into the earth. My brain is full of thoughts and my feelings are a mess. Why am I crying this should be the happiest moment my crush is gay! I'm not alone in my feelings! Oh god...

I can't help but stare at her beautiful figure as she leans on my shoulder. She's quite slim, and I worry about her health sometimes. I watch her close her eyes, her eyelashes luscious and distinct as ever. I smile, and wonder why this day ever has to continue.

But life moves on. Time passes so quickly, and waits for no one. You always have to run to keep up, but running is exhausting. You sometimes lag behind, or stay behind. That isn't an option right now though. My thoughts warming my heart, I gently raise my head to gaze at the dark night sky. I wonder what she's thinking. We really should leave. I don't want to get caught like this. A bell rings, and I watch her eyes shoot open, and panic leap into her gaze. I stand up, and offer her my hand. She takes it, and proceeds to rise. We're awfully close, and I can see myself in her eyes as her gaze lingers on mine. I look warped and stupid in her pupils, so I pull away. I can feel her gaze on my back as I softly say:

"We should get going,"

"No. I know you hate it. Let's just go. Away from here, we'll figure it out." I hear her voice harden, as she walks in front of me, and looks straight at my face.

"I can't," I say quietly, before looking away.

"Why?" She says in dismay.

"I just- I don't want leave the only thing I've known. Not yet. We can wait to graduate, can't we?"

"I- why though?! What's the point of waiting? All we do is wait! There's no point wasting another two years of our lives to boring classes and pissed-off teachers!"

"True, but I- I don't know. I don't want to leave, then go back, cos that means we would have failed." I take a deep breath.

"But we can-"

"I don't want to fucking fail!" I say, louder than before. Another bell rings, signalling class's start.

"We're not going to fail! Calm down! We can get our things, and then steal some food from the canteen, and then some money, and then leave." She says, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I raise my head and look at her.

"That could- work." I realise that- well, life isn't going to save me, and school and denial will just drive me to suicide, but she won't. And she's right here, offering... freedom.

"We'll be free, like you've always wanted, but not the way you imagined! We'll catch a taxi, and buy a plot of land. We can build a house, and get chickens! You love chickens! We can live off what we make, and go to the supermarket every now and again to get.. I don't know, plant seeds!" She hugs me, but this time I hug her back.