Her Euphoria -Lizkook ONGOING April 2023

Worth

"I hope the kiss you shared with her was worth it."

Jungkook stared blankly at the small illuminescent screen resting in the palm of his hand, the words glaring angrily back at him, her words had stung painfully with the finality that arrived with them.

Lisa was done.

Casting his mind to the night before and the dinner date IU, he had enjoyed the evening and her company after they had settled into comfortable conversation. They had talked about many things which allowed him to see the softer and more vulnerable side of her which she had often kept to herself, because as an artist one can never leave themselves open to anything that could potentially return to harm them or their career.

IU had told Jungkook that her fans knew many things about her, but there were a few things that she kept to herself. She didn't tell him what they were, and he never asked because he himself understood exactly where she was coming from, and it made him feel slightly more closer to her as a person rather than a fellow idol.

The easy flow of conversation had made him sit straighter as he remembered the way her every word had captivated him with the way her lips moved, and he found them absolutely mesmerising and it had proved to be very difficult to turn his eyes in another direction.

He was not aware that during their intimate setting and the hushed tones of their discussion, he had somehow found himself sitting forward to hear her better. The softness in her voice equalled the beauty of her face, and Jungkook was hooked like a moth to a flame.

He hadn't meant to kiss her, but the overwhelming sense to protect her caught him by surprise when he took hold of her hand and listened to her speak her song. IU harboured the same qualities in songwriting as did he and the way she was able to convey every word through her impressive range of vocals never ceased to amaze him. It was what had drawn him to her as a teen, and perhaps even more so now.

The sweet delicate softness of her lips and the elf like features of her face made it especially difficult for him to look anywhere else but her face. If he was being honest with himself, he was glad that he kissed her because he no longer had to wonder what it would feel like, but at the same time he wished he hadn't, because their kiss could have potentially cost him not only his career, but he knew Lisa would never forgive him. Looking at his phone again, Jungkook could not have felt any more confused than he did at that moment.

He loved Lisa, he still does despite her initiating their break up, that he had not wanted in the first place, he loved her with everything in his soul. She had hurt him deeply when she broke it off saying that he needed to sort himself out, as if he needed fixing. He was younger than Lisa by a few months, but there were times where she was far more mature than her years, but he felt wronged when she left him, leaving him to find himself again and he could not help but feel a small amount of resentment for it. He wondered if that was why he had suddenly felt compelled to kiss IU, that all the pent up emotions with Lisa and her blatant disregard for his feelings.

Jungkook felt himself fall deeper into his lost confused thoughts as he unknowingly began to roll his phone around his hands in a grip so tight the whites of his knuckles appeared.

Everybody expected so much of him every single day and sometimes he felt their expectations were drowning him and all he'd want to do is rebel and do something out of the ordinary for him, something unexpected that would make people see that he is human with feelings, just like them, he can't always be the maknae that excels in everything he does.

Everytime he closed his eyes he would see Lisa's beautiful face, her soft plump lips curled into a large smile as her round expressive eyes crinkled into their own type of smile, and her bangs making slow whispy movements brushing her long lashes as she bent forward laughing. He could hear the sound reverberating through his mind before hitting him in the chest.