Her Euphoria -Lizkook ONGOING April 2023

Aware

Jungkook was laid out on the floor of the dance studio at BigHit HQ, his breath leaving his body in hot spurts as he fought to control his breathing. The others had long returned to their dorm for rest and sustenance, however he had stayed behind wanting to work on the intricate details of the footwork in the latest dance routine their choreographer had taught them.

Dancing was one of the few things he knew he was good at, and it was one thing he could control because if he missed a step or a turn at the wrong moment, he could potentially throw everyone off, that meant he had no one to blame but himself for messing up. So he wanted to have control of something he was good at, even if his private love life felt like it had been slapped with an enormous red pause button.

Bending his knees he sat up to look at the Honey coloured Bear sitting opposite him, unmoving and unjudging. He looked at his appearance in the mirror, taking in the way his normally clear skin had begun to show the tell tale signs of a stress related breakout. He had always taken care to cleanse his face every morning and night before bed, but lately he his normal skincare routine had been placed on the back burner.

He didn't have to worry about looking presentable for a certain someone anymore because that person, well she didn't want to have anything more to do with him, and it was now well over a week since his return to singledom and yet he didn't feel any urgency to make it known. He also knew that because of that kiss with IU, the rumour mills were rampant with gossip.

He felt his heart lurch as he thought about that night, because since the incident he had been having a terrible time of trying to remember what compelled him to kiss her. Other than an idol he had respected and admired for years was sitting across from him and looking absolutely eatheral; he really had no other valid reason to have kissed her, because the more he had thought about it, the more he realised that it could have been an infatuation rather than something more.

Unlike what still felt for Lisa.

Lisa.

Glancing to the mirror he looked at the empty space to his right. He missed the times Lisa would surprise him at the studio, often showing up in her training clothes ready to join him and dancing alongside of him with effortless movements and her face frozen in masked concentration only to break out in a small shy smile when her concentration broke and noticed him staring at her with something akin to wonder before rushing to pick her up and tossing her over his shoulders.

His eyes begin to pool as he remembers the elflike gaity to her laugher and the way she would squeal with delight as he placed her onto the floor attempting to plant kisses to her face as she pretended to escape his strong muscular arms.

When all the fun and laughter had died down she would place herself to his right and scoot as close as she could and take his left arm to place onto her lap and absently play with his fingers as she leant her head onto his shoulder, closing her eyes to quietly hum one of her favourite songs by Got7; Miracle and he had always had an appreciation for good songs and because of Lisa, he grew to like the song aswell.

Being with her like that, just the two of them, alone and together in their own time, their own space, their own world, he missed it all so much, and the pain he had caused Lisa left a huge well of a hole in his heart, the pain he felt hurt alot, but what he had done to Lisa, he knew Lisa better than anyone, and he knew she would have felt tenfold the pain he feels if not more.

Could he forgive himself for that?

Could Lisa?

He thought back to her words at the cafe when she had laid it out to him. It had taken something as cruel as Lisa breaking up for him to realise that he done the unimaginable to her that day;