Sucka For Love

Mommy is Sorry!

Later that day...

Nicki P.O.V
Me: I was stupid to take him back T.

T: Hell Yeah you were. Nicki you.used to never be vulnerable to a dude even if you loved him. What happened to that Nicki?

Me: I honestly don't know. I wish I knew.

T: I wish I knew too.

There was an awkward silence.

Me: I think I'm going to abort this baby T.

T: The hell is wrong with you?! You better not Nicki. Abortion is murder. You're taking an innocent life away!

Me:Well I don't know what to do! I freaking love August but at the same time I f*cking hate him! THIS baby is going to make things hella worse.

T: I love you but right now you acting stupid as hell! I'll be over later. DON'T abort the baby.

T left me there speechless.

Me: What in the hell am I going to do?
I text August saying:

"August I love you but I accepted you back a little to fast. We both need some time apart to get our minds right. Don't beg please. This break is something we both need. It's for the best. If you mad then think about Why this happened. Ill talk to you soon."

I decided to go the clinic. I think I'm going to do it.

...

I went inside to the lady at the front desk.

Me: Excuse me, I would like to set up and appointment for an abortion.

Receptionist: Would you like a female or male doctor?

Me: Umm... Female.

Receptionist: Ok. Fill out these papers and after you give them back to me, a doctor should be ready to talk to you about the different options.

Me: Ok. Thank you.

I took a seat as I filled out the paperwork. I had to wait about 15 minutes for a doctor.

Receptionist: Nicki Maraj? Doctor Blair is waiting for you in room 22.

Me: Thank you.

I entered the room to see my doctor.

Doctor: Hi, Im doctor Sheila Blair. You can have a seat.

Me: Ok.

Dr.Blair: I see you are looking to have an abortion?

Me: Yes ma'am.

Dr. Blair: Well you have 3 options. One, the baby can be vaccumed out. Which is when we take a little vaccume tube and suck the baby out.
Two, is when we use salt. We insert salt inside your cervix and this way the salt Burns the baby. And Finally, we can use a mini razor to chop the baby up inside you. Do you have any questions or do you know the one you want?

Nicki: Can the baby feel the pain?

Dr. Blair: Yes actually. At three weeks, the baby can hear, and feel. During each of those ways, the baby is suffering.

Me: Wow.

Dr. Blair: Can I talk to you woman to woman really quick?

Me: Yes ma'am.

Dr. Blair: Do you really want to do this?

Me: I honestly don't know. I feel like I need to, but I don't want the baby to suffer.

Dr. Blair: I've had many women in the same place as you are and I tell them all the same thing. If you feel that the baby is not needed at the moment, Ok. I wouldnt recommend abortion. What if that child grew up to be a celebrity. They could've grown up to be the one to find the cure to cancer, they could be the one to help save millions of lives. If you don't go through with this, putting the baby up for adoption would be a better option.

Me: I never really thought of it like that.

Dr. Blair: Have you made up your mind?

Me: I think I'll put him/her up for adoption.

Dr. Blair: Ok. Well come here when you're about 8 to 9 months so we can sign the adoption papers.

Me: Ok.

Dr.Blair: Look, here's my number. You can call me anytime.

Me: Thank you so much.

Dr. Blair: You're Welcome.

Someone knocked on her door. It was a male voice.

???: Ma?

I turned around and it was August.

Dr. Blair: Hey baby. Nicki, this is my son August, August this my client Nicki.

August looked at me with a shocked look. I couldn't look him in the eyes.

August: I already know her ma.

Sheila: ooookaaay.

Nicki: Thanks Dr. Blair for everything. I.. I have to go.

I tried to walk past August but he stopped me. He lifted my head up.

August: (sniffles and whispes) Why?

I couldn't answer. For the first time in 7 years, I was crying. I removed his hand and ran outside to my car. I sat in side and placed my head on the wheel and cried. After a few minutes, August walked out the building. I crank up the car and drove off. I was going anywhere but my house.