no one said it would be easy

Chapter 11 - a family

Izzie
Home. In Casey's arms I feel like I am finally home. She's my safe place, my anchor. I don't know what I'd do without her.

We walk into the kitchen to get a slice of pizza. That's one of my bad habits: I eat to comfort myself. It doesn't show, because of all the track I'm doing, but I really need to quit it. Especially now, when I train for UCLA.

Elsa and Doug are sitting at the small table in kitchen. They are drinking wine while discussing something. I don't know what they are talking about, but by the way Doug wrinkles his forehead it has to be an unpleasant topic.

Elsa notices my appearance and jumps up to hug me a bit longer than needed.

„Hey Izzie", she says, „so nice to see you."

Her mouth is smiling but her eyes can't hide the sadness trapped behind them. Casey must've told her why I need a place to stay.

Doug turns around. He's smiling, but also patterning me. He's wearing his work clothes, but he opened up the top button on his chemise.

„Hello Mr. Gardner", I say, trying to be polite.

I notice Casey getting nervous beside me. It's just then I realize this is our first meeting with her parents as girlfriends.

„Thanks for letting me stay the night. It's not easy at home right now...", I speak, looking at the ground and fiddling with the strings of my hoodie.

The thought of my mom makes me sad. She really kicked me out of the house just because she saw Casey and me kissing.

„You know, it's okay, you won't get her pregnant", Mr. Gardner tells me, his expression a lot warmer now.

„Dad!", Casey says, „It's Elsa's Job to be embarrassing. Don't betray me like this!"

A small laugh escapes my mouth and I actually have to control myself to not laugh loudly. Casey always manages to put me into a good mood.

„We'll grab some pizza and go upstairs if that's okay?", Casey asks, but it sounds more like a statement.

~~~

Casey

Izzie's head is laying in my lap and the empty pizza box is right beside us. Can't believe we really ate the full pizza, we should be on a diet and training like crazy, but here we are: stuffed with pizza and lounging around.

I softly comb through her hair with my fingers. Izzie turned on some music to feel a bit more relaxed.

My heart broke when she finally told me what happened.

Her mom saw how I kissed her goodbye in front of their door. Because Izzie had to pee she straight up went to the bathroom. She answered my message and when she went out her mom was already waiting for her.
She told her she couldn't believe what Izzie did, and asked her if she doesn't have any sense of shame. That she doesn't understand why Izzie ‚turned out like this' and how she's a disgrace to the family.

She didn't give her any time to say anything about it. Her mom just pushed her out of the house while she heard the kids screaming in the background.

When Izzie told me this story I couldn't process what she just said. How someone, how a mother could ever say this to her daughter. But the more Izzie told me, the more I felt the fire burning up inside of me.

It's almost like I could feel the flames in my chest, the raging anger inside of me.

That's not a mother. She actually never was.

Suddenly I feel Izzies head turning on my lap so she can look at me.

„Did you tell Elsa about it?", she quietly speaks, avoiding eye contact.

I purse my lips, not knowing what to tell her. I decide to go with the truth.

„Yes, but I had to. She didn't want to let you stay here, because we're in a relationship now", I say, cupping here cheek in my hand.

„It's okay", she states, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers.

We stay like this for a while. Cuddling, holding hands and listening to the soft beats of the music.

~~~

Izzie

Casey fell asleep pretty fast. She is still holding my hand.

She seems so peaceful when she's sleeping. Almost like this day never happened. This was one of the best and worst days of my life.

The best, because Casey told me she loved me, and the worst because my mom kicked me out for loving Casey.

I need a drink. I reach for the bottle on Casey's nightstand but realize it's empty. God damn it, this girl never brings her empty bottles back.

Without waking Casey I get up and walk to the door. I hope everyone's asleep by now, as I'm wearing an old t-shirt and sweatpants from Casey. My mom didn't give me any time to pack things up, so Casey has to share her wardrobe with me now.

Thankfully the stairs don't creak, which allows me to go to the basement unnoticed.

I walk to the kitchen sink and fill the empty bottle with tap water, which I gulp down a few seconds afterwards.

„Shouldn't you be asleep?", I hear a voice behind me.

I turn around and almost drop my bottle because of shock, but it's just Elsa in a pyjama.

„Oh god", I say, still shocked about her sudden appearance, „you scared me."

„I'm sorry, I didn't mean to", she apologizes.

„Casey told me about your mom and how she saw you two", Elsa says.

The thought of it causes a lump in my throat and my tongue feels like sandpaper. I'm not able to answer her, so all I do is nod. I feel tears burning in the back of my eyes and before I knew it I start crying.

Elsa runs over to me and pulls me into a long hug, while my tears wet her pyjama, but she let's it happen. I feel her hand caressing the back of my head and with every minute I relax a bit more.

Eventually Elsa pulls away, but still holds me at my arms.

„You'll always have a home here, Izzie. Don't forget that", she speaks in a soft and low voice. Her eyes are shimmering a bit in the dim light but I know she won't crying.

And I know she means every word she said.

I realize the Gardner's may be the only family I have now.